Work Woes

Today my boss pretended to stab me with my scissors in a Psycho-esque manner. Then he put them in my coffee cup. Looking confused as he spotted my pen holder right next to it, he asked "Wait... does this not go in there?"

"No," I responded. "That's my coffee."

Straight out of a teen comedy

So... I'm spending the holidays visiting with cousin Melsie. Until last night, we had been squatting at her bfs house, but yesterday we moved to her real house.

I stayed up past everyone else last night (watching Will and Grace and SITC), then staggered upstairs, somewhat groggy, to brush teeth etc. Could only find toner and moisturizer on the counter by the sink, so I checked the shower for facewash. Found a bottle marked 'dermatologically tested' which also said something about not drying skin and that sort of stuff. It had a weird cap, not like a flippy one, but the kind you just pull up a couple of mm. Like a fancy water bottle. But I got it. Awesome.

This morning, in the shower, I reached for the same bottle. THEN I decided to read it properly. It was 'intimate wash', which I didn't really get until I saw (right after derm tested) 'and gynecologically tested'.

OH MAH GAWWWWD.

It's like a scene from American Pie or Superbad. Except it would have been a guy and they would have woken up with a yeast infection in their eye. Or something. Or like meangirls where they gave Regina George a bottle of foot lotion for her face (but all it did was make her face smell like a foot. And Aaron Samuels loved it, smells like peppermint...).

Face still looks like a face, not a vagina. Although I guess that's subjective. Looks no more like a vagina than it did yesterday. Will keep you updated.

Spread the News

It pains me to say this, but I really miss GP. You know, when we actually had to learn the news. I feel like these days I know nothing. I didn't find out about the big train crash until... 3 days later. I found out about the boy who got stabbed by campus from someone's facebook status.

Spencer Pratt said something on the Hills about him and LC (I think...) hating each other like Iran and Israel, and I was like, what a tool, I think he means Palestine. But today I read that he actually was right, Iran is having issues with Israel. Who would have thunk it? Anyway, my conclusion was that if I was more ignorant than Spencer Pratt, I am in dire straits.

Solution? I'm going to have to start reading the news. Look out for my daily facebook status of some kind of news update. Gotta keep peeps in the know.