Life's funny like that

Remember how I was complaining about my computer-lessness? Well, on the way to bringing my computer to the Geek Squad (I'm not being rude, that's honestly the name of the computer people here...) I passed this sign up thing for the Campus Movie Festival.

It looked like you had to register online to get the free gift bags, and I thought, hey why not? So after posting on this, I went to check out the site and registered a team for the festival. Basically, I have til Tuesday to produce a 5 minute film.

But the AMAZING part is: they provide you with a macbook and digital camcorder to work with, so I am now computerly endowed.

Fab.

Go Trojans!!!

My computer has trojans. The irony is not lost on me. (For those of you that don't know, we are the USC Trojans over here...)

As such, I am left rather internet-less and moping around the house with nothing to do but eat and watch tv.

I am typing this standing up at a computer terminal in the School Of Business. It's a little like being at an airport, but without a chair.

But here's what I wanted to update with yesterday:

I was looking particularly ravishing yesterday morning (read: actually really ugly and definately just-rolled-out-of-bed). So who should I run into but the Trifecta of Good Looks?

First, I bump into Stephen's Golden Boy. And of course he engages me in a longer-than-usual conversation. Then, it turns out that he is hanging with My Handsome Handsome Man of last semester, who joins in the conversation. Of course. Meanwhile I am self-consciously wishing I had bothered to wear more than a dykey black t shirt. So, we have our bitter-sweet parting (Sweet because then they can stop looking at my frumps, bitter because I love both of them...) Then, naturally, after pretty much ignoring each other for 2 years (that's not ENTIRELY true, but it might as well be), guess who finally says 'Hi' to me? None other than Hayden Christianson Lookalike, crush of my freshman year.

And you know, up until recently, 2 of the 3 were deeply in love, but it seems their girlfriends have chucked them. I don't know how they could do that. In the words of Manny from Degrassi: If it were me, I'd love you for months...

Really, the only way it could have been worse/better is if I had seen Fireworks-and-Competitions and the Fox.

No More Ladies

Probably the best written film I've seen in a long time. It was on TCM last night, so if you don't like black n whites, read no further, although I really think you'll probably love it anyway. It was pretty timeless. Or actually, it was pretty racy, much to the shock of Rona and I. (Incidentally, Rona was into her 12th hour of straight television at the time. Just thought I'd throw it out there.)

Tagline: Joan Crawford plays some rich New Yorker who manages to score a big time playboy as a husband. She is completely aware of his womanizing ways, but loves him anyway, except when he hooks up with some other woman and she decides to teach him a lesson.

The Good: Everyone was pretty good looking. I don't usually go for the 30s hero type, but they were all pretty hot. But more importantly, it was HILARIOUS. Who knew people in the 30s were having affairs and talking about sex and drinking all night all the time? And implying that they swore (Grandma says: I haven't said 'darn' in 20 years...")? Shouldn't they have been focussing on things like the great depression? Great characterizations. Women were pretty independent, lots of great parodies (watch for the Englishman).

The Bad: Well, okay, the plot wasn't the MOST original, but that's ok. Back in the 30s it might have been.

The Ugly: Some of Joan's clothes were hideously marred by strange big bows and nun-habit bibs. Also, her hairstyles weren't very sexy.

Yay or Nay? Yay. Come on guys, it's a classic. And I think it would appeal to both men and women. So there.

Haylp!

So. Need some help here:

If a guy was cheating on a girl, then decided to chuck her, what would he say to her to make the break up seem like her fault?

Dawson's Creek is Deep

I didn't want to put this on facebook, because I just know people are going to jump to conclusions. Facebook is dangerous like that. Still, it was so wise, I had to put it somewhere.

Tobey: I know. I just can't help looking. What is that?

Jen: What is what?

Tobey: That stupid fantasy you have where the guy who broke your heart suddenly realizes he's made the biggest mistake of his life, and he finds you? Wherever you are, he comes running up to you, and he says, "I can't live without you. You are my entire universe, and if you don't take me back right now, I will never love anyone again." Where's this fantasy come from?

Jen: Movies. Television. And that little place in your heart that harbors hope.

Accepted

Way better than expected.

Plot: Bartleby (Justin Long aka Geeky kid from Ed aka Geeky kid from Dodgeball aka Nearly had sex with Britney in Crossroads... haa, bet you forgot that one!) fails at life. Well, not really. He just doesn't get into any colleges. His parents are hugely disappointed, so he makes up a fake school that he 'got into'. Then he actually has to make the fake school, and it turns out the fake website has been accepting other kids (Acceptance is just one click away!) who are also college-rejects. They have barrels of fun doing their not real classes while trying to foil the principle of a real college who is trying to destroy them so his school can buy the land.

The good: The script was hilarious, if a little slap stick. It was nice because unlike most college humouresque movies, there weren't any gross-out laughs, mostly just puns and entendres and injuries and stupid people. The characters were great, I especially liked that there was a girl called Rory who didn't get into Yale, I am convinced it's a hidden Gilmore Girls reference.

The bad: Love interest (Blake Lively aka Serena from Gossip Girl) has terrible acting and was really kind of a downer in all her scenes, and her giggle gets annoying. But at least she was pretty and had some cute outfits. Also, the plot was a little predictable. Alot predictable.

The ugly: The best friend (Jonah Hill aka Superbad) was looking particularly fat in this movie. And he was kind of an ass in the middle.

Yay or nay? Yay. Definately yay. I might even say buy the DVD, it seems like something you could watch often, you know when you're sitting around watching funny college movies as I'm sure people do. I mean, it isn't academy worthy or anything, but it's a nice feel good thing.

Post Man Pat Post Man Pat

Look what I got in the mail today!

I like how none of my mail is ever my own.

Fatting Around

So, my guilty pleasure as of late has been Food Blogs.

Here's my current fav: La Tartine Gourmande.

From what I gather, she is a food photographer. An AMAZING food photographer. And, she has all these little anecdotes to go with the pictures and recipes. And some of it is in French! But always with translations so don't worry, you don't miss out.


(I just stole that from her portfolio... hopefully, she won't sue me.)

Makes me wish I had photography talent and also that my 10 years of French classes had taught me more than "Je m'appelle Shaun" (even though my name isn't Shaun).

But beware, reading food blogs is a double-edged sword. You are almost guaranteed to get hungry from it and then go foraging for snacking food, thus ensuring that you will never have a flat stomach and legs that don't wobble when you breathe. You also get grocery-envy, a dreadful disease where you are suddenly taken with the desire to make whatever you are reading about only to realize that you don't have any of these ingredients/have all except the critical one, and it's 2am so Ralph's is closed, and even if it was open the produce is nowhere near as nice as what it could be if you had a car and could drive to a better supermarket... and you have no money anyway.

Clown Face!

So I know regularly I'm the last person anyone would ask for make-up tips from, but here is my one contribution: My Excellent Mascara

That is, 100% Waterproof Mascara from Rimmel.

Why, you ask?

Last night, I went to the sauna. It was like 3am, so I had my 'owoot tonight' face on. Sweated buckets, got really dehydrated... yet somehow, remained completely streak free. Amazing. I woke up the morning after with cotton mouth, a pounding headache, and wonderful thick lush lashes.

I guess I shouldn't be so surprised since it's all 100% waterproof, but I never really thought that was true.

Cleanin' Out My Closet

Today, after a really really long time, I finally worked out the pin to my voicemail box and cleaned it out.

Msg one was telling me that someone had tried to get into my voicemail with the wrong pin 3 times only minutes before (er, that would be me...)

The next msg was from January 2006. Yes, it turns out that I haven't known my pin since freshman year. So here's some return msgs.

Dear Kris, thanks for all the offers of rides to work.

Dear Melissa, why aren't you eating lunch with me, you beeyotch!

Dear Shaun, I think you sat on your phone.

Dear Jake, Cool, see you downstsairs in like 2 minutes.

Dear Isaac, woohoo, the exams are over, time to party!

Dear Aunty Olive, okay, I'll check my email.

6 Degrees .. more like 5. Or even 4.

So.

Macaulay Culkin

was married to

Rachel Miner

who was in a movie with

Bijou Philips

who is dating

Danny Masterson

who was on a TV show with

Mila Kunis

who is dating

Macaulay Culkin

Junior

Am I the only person in the world that DIDN'T know that Mila Kunis and Macaulay Culkin were dating? Are dating? Have been dating for like 6 years?

I just read his book, Junior.

It's weird, and confusing, I liked it. I think Nick will. I think Wen might. I think everyone else won't. Adelle won't have the patience for it.

Mostly I liked it for being a secret-not-so-secret love story. Restores my faith in love a little. I had plans to swoop in and steal him from whomever this mystery girl is but then it was Jackie, and how could anyone steal from Jackie?

I also loved it because he thanks Mandy, Eva and Jenna in the dedications at the back. I.e the girls from Saved! That's pretty great.

There were lots of lists, and I really like lists. There were also a few great poems (my fav fav fav part is his poem about sp a ce sinw ron gpl ac es.)

Failure to Launch

More like Failure to... Failure. Sorry. The wit ran dry half way.

Premise: Tripp (Matthew McConaughey) lives at home with his parents. They want to be free to have sex so they hire Paula (Not Deen. Sarah Jessica Parker), a professional child-kicker-outer, to convince him to get out. Supposedly by engaging in a romantic relationship with her, these live-at-home-losers are given the self-confidence they need to fly the coop. And while it's meant to be purely professional on her end, this is also a romantic comedy, so naturally they actually fall in love for realz.

The Good: Everyone but the 'couple' were pretty hilarious. Also, I'm in love with Zooey Deschanel who played SJP's kinda goth roommate. She's cute. She's also been in a ton of shit but not as anything particularly significant to my life. Now that I think about it, she kind of looks like Marion Cotillard, another fav. And her man friend (Justin Bartha) was too cute to have not been in anything else (er other than National Treasure, which really, he shouldn't be showing off about....) Kathy Bates was in this too ( as Rach said: 'Hey look, it's the Unsinkable Molly Brown!')

The Bad: The Main Couple - The Acting, The (lack of) Chemistry, The Likability. Seriously, at no point did I think either of them was actually attracted to one another. Also really terrible was M McC's little subplot about how he is not in touch with nature so a bunch of normally really peaceful cute animals have to show their really badly puppeteered teeth and bite the shit out of him. Such as the dolphin which dragged him around by the ankle, and the lizard which sniggered after he fell off a mountain. Yeaaa...

The Ugly: SJP's scream. You may have heard it on Sex and the City, and it rears it's skwaky head all over the place in this one. Baaad times.

Yay or Nay? Is it on Cable? Do you have an abundance of free time? By no means pay any money to watch it, or even waste your netflix queue on it. But if it's on, and you have homework that you don't want to have to do, go for it.

And with that, I leave you with my new lady-love:

Shake your Money Maker

Mother Of Mine has just informed me that The Family has decided that I should be graduating in 3 years (i.e. at the end of this year). As I am obstinately refusing to graduate even a semester early, I have been informed that I will have to be finding my own life-funds come senior year - tution will be covered though.

After much thought, here are my current options:

1) Find Sugar Daddy. May have to try my hand at www.seekingarrangements.com, see if I can find me a silver fox who wants to spoil and pamper me/ make sure I am not living in a cardboard box.

2) Sell Screenplay. My main problems with this are a) finishing a screenplay b) that screenplay being commercially viable c) finding an agent d) finding someone who will buy it.

3) Turn Holding Cell Into Brothel. A plan which has been discussed between Rona and I on several occasions, on account of us already having a red light in the window. However, if we can't even get people to take it when it's free, how will we ever get to charging?

4) Sell Eggs. May have to lie about sinus problems ( I have a cold) and exzema (I was camping and accidentally rubbed poison ivy on my inner elbows) but other than that, I should be good right? Alternatively, I could invest in chicken eggs and then actually sell eggs.

5) Find Illegal Work. If millions of illegal immigrants can do it, I guess I can too. But this is definately a last resort.

Thoughts?

Pushing Daisies

Premise:

As a child, Ned discovers he can bring dead things/people back to life by touching them. Except they die if he touches them again. And if he doesn't touch them again within a minute, someone else has to die instead. Now, 20-ish years later, Ned lives his life with as little human attachment as possible. His day job is owning a pie shop. His night job (except it always seems to be in the day too) is talking to corpses for a minute, solving their murders and claiming the reward.

Pie-lette: (isn't that cute?? because of the pie shop?)
A girl's body washes up, there's a $50 000 reward on finding the killer. Ned and his partner decide to go for it. The victim turns out to be Ned's next door neighbour as a kid - his first (and only) kiss. Unable to bare letting her die (again), he lets the minute pass. Now there's three of them solving her murder.

I didn't do that very well.

But it was AMAZING. SOOOO good.

The thing that stands out most is the style. It's really vibrant, bright and just generally surreal, which is a great way to deal with the premise because it sort of makes it seem like it's in a different world... helps suspend the disbelief, you know?

I read a comment that compares they style with Amelie, which I can see, but it was a little bit more satirical. Reminded me of Love Me If You Dare... and a little bit of A Series of Unfortunate Events.

So, watch it for: Style. Romance. Ned (He's cute in that dorky kind of way.) Hilarity. Irony (as in, English humour is often referred to as Ironic). General uplifting.

Don't watch it if: You feel dramatic and solemn.

Thoughts

1) Had I not been waiting for fish to cook, we probably would have been in the store at the time the crime went down.

2) Had we been in the store, we would probably be in the fresh produce section.

3) I spent my recovered money at Ralphs... was this a warning??

Just another day on the job...

Crime Alert.

Location: Ralph's next to my house.

Crime: Not really sure.

Suspect: African-American male. About 1 foot when slumped on the floor. 40-60 years of age.

Description:

Rona, Rachana and Amanda left the house to go to Ralph's. Outside, they noticed a small crowd peering into the side door, and a ruckus was occurring within.

When questioned, witnesses said that a fight was going down. The three noticed an old friend leaving the store and interrogated him also, but due to his shaken-upped-ness, he could only say that he 'just wanted some milk'. Being brave, the three were like eff this man I need my food. However, using great prudence they decided to start at the frozen food section and work their way towards the fresh produce, where security guards were attempting to intervene.

The air was thick with pepper spray, causing customers to lurch into sudden coughing fits whenever a deep breath was inhaled.

It seemed that the hullabaloo was done with by the time they reached aisle one, as the cleaning crew had come in and members of the security detail were just standing around. However, Amanda got a nasty shock when she rounded the corner for a bag of broccoli wokly and came toe to toe with the badguy. She jumped back and found an alternative route that was still a little too close for comfort, but had Rachana with her this time. (Tip: Always use the buddy system!)

Rachana overheard the detainee claiming 'this store is about to be robbed'. Conspiracy theories about the homeless of the neighbourhood rising up and committing a series of robberies was discussed amongst the girls, especially with regard to the Early Morning Robbery At GunPoint At Starbucks, only days before.

When the three left, the detainee was lying on the floor outside, surrounded by bloodied security guards and some LAPD guys.


Remember now, you heard it here first. And if you didn't, serves you right for not reading on time.

A real college education

Watching reruns of Gilmore Girls...

Rory and Logan are an amazing couple.

They're right up there with Max and Liz, Joey and Pacey, Derek and Meredith, Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston...

Anyway, here is what I took away:

-Logan's family didn't like Rory because she wasn't of good breeding, and wanted to be a career woman, and wasn't bred for it.

-Therefore, in order to catch a Logan, (or be what the fam wants I guess) don't you have to catch a man by like soph. year so that by senior year you can be engaged so you never have to work?

-Which means you probably need to be in a sorority so you can be exposed to all these eligible bachelors. This is probs a generalization but ...

-Which means I fail.

But what I did appreciate:

-Even Rory gets ignored.

-Her hair is really cute.

So here is the real life lesson:

How to use Rona's straightening iron in the bathroom instead of going to Math in order to tame my hair into Rory's season 6 hair.

Tada!

Facebook knows things...

My most recent Facebook horoscope:

Aries: You're about to come into some extra cash, but be careful how you spend it. Using it all now would not be wise

This evening, I got my bank statement. It had 2 overdraft fees for no reason (er actually my cheque had a hold on it blabla) so the lady waived them and now I have $40 more.

But I must not spend it.

Thoughts on the Paella Party

I'm meant to be doing an essay, but Rona wants me to update, so I shall. (I was really hard to convince.)

On the Paella itself:

-Why was it so sour? Next time (or for anyone who might want to make it in the future), must make sure my tinned tomatoes are sweeter. (These ones were Ralph's generic brand, possibly stewed in Italian herbs but it's hard to remember.)

-The pans were way to full even before rice went in. Must learn about proportions.

-The rice on top was 'crispy' the rice underneath too mushy. Must make sure all of rice is covered (should be easier when there are less ingredients) and not cook for so long. Also make sure there is enough long grain rice so one does not have to resort to large random bag of japanese rice.

-The rice was not nice coloured -- must find sugar daddy to buy me saffron. Alternatively, must locate my yellow food colouring.

-At one point, tomato paste was just smeared over top of rice. Should stir the tomatoes in before putting the rice in.

-Chicken was tasteless. Must marinate properly.

-Catfish has annoying spines even in fillet, made it hard to cut. Next time may splash out and spend an extra 50c to get Talapia. Also, catfish a little fishy.

-Half a pound of unpeeled prawns were not a good idea. Next time, 1/4 of a pound will do.

-Tinned greenbeans are brown. Vile.


On the Sangria:

-The merlot (yes, it turns out Franzia does have different grapes) was too heavy, but the 'chillable' wine (aka mystery grapes?) was good.

-Added rum as it was the only available liquor in the house.

-OJ was a little sour especially with the merlot so added minute maid lemonade also. But didn't really need it for chillable wine. Maybe was just too drunk to notice taste by 2nd box?