Esoteric Inklings

The words 'esoteric' and 'nefarious' have been floating around the office a lot this week. I know, whaaa? The only reason I even know the word esoteric is because of writing 340.

Anyway, esoteric seems to describe my ultimate Christmas wish. The other stuff is just cuckoo bananas items, business as usual. (Isn't the phrase cuckoo bananas just great? I picked it up from Degrassi a while ago and have only now resurrected it.) This Christmas List was done at the request of my darling Choops, but anyone else who wants to give me presents is welcome to. That's YOU, NB!

(Speaking of NB and presents, he did a wonderful job of getting me the microplane for our 2 year anniversary present. All the TV chefs have one, so of course, I believed that it was the only thing standing between me and great zest.)

The regular stuff first:

1. 2010 planner

I need a planner, because now that I am a grown up, I plan on 'doing drinks' and 'getting together' after 'checking my schedule' . And while the computer is all well and good, it is not as fun. I also associate it too closely with work.

Here are my requirements:

- Small-ish, and light. Must fit in my purse.

- Cute. Must not be embarrassed to take it out in public.

- Of good quality paper. Must be able to withstand personalization with highlighters and other office supplies.

- Must open to the spine (eg. spiral binding). I am left handed and if it doesn't open all the way it's realllly hard to write.

Inspiration: Here, and here, and here, and here. All are somewhat lacking.

(The picture is from Red Velvet Art - their stuff is sooo cute, especially the underpants. But no planners :( )

2. Feather skirt

I know, you are probably like errr... fashion faux pas. But I think they are so cute.

Requirements:

- A wearable colour. There is a hot pink one floating around the internet that I am not digging.

- A fun length. And by fun, I mean short. Not like teeny tiny, but you know, not matronly.

Concessions:

- This would also be acceptable in dress form, if the top of the dress is cute too.

(I am a medium, or size 12 uk, 6 us)

3. Rain boots

Granted, it rains maybe 3 days a year in LA. But boy, on those 3 days, I always wish I had Wish William's Wellingtons.

There was a pair from the Gap that I loooved a couple of years ago, navy with a pink trim. All gone now.

Requirements:

- Cute (duh)

- Not too colourful. I need to be able to wear this with whatever outfits, and probably my polkadot raincoat.

(I am a size 8 1/2 us... 39 eur... I think uk 7 1/2? I used to be 8 but my feet have been shrinking...)

Speaking of boots...

4. Motorcycle boots

So, my beloved brown Payless boots have a hole in the zip from four years of loving, a million spilt drinks and one winter of sledding (Yes, I went sledding in heels. The were wonderful ice picks). These Pradas would be an excellent replacement. (I also have my over the knee black Victoria's secret boots, but they are pretty whorish and not entirely work appropriate, and also, they make my feet feel a 19th C Chinese woman with bound feet... and a computer...)

Requirements:

- None, kind of. I mean, black or brown. Heel, or none. Knee-high or mid-calf. (Er, not ankle though. And mid-calf might look cankly, but I am open to your good taste).

5. Rolling pin

It's just one of those things that I really need but have never bought. I have been using a wine bottle (always available in my apartment) covered in clingfilm. It does the job, just not as well.

Other things that are always welcome:

Costume jewelry (or real, that's cool too), accessories (hats, scarves, gloves, over-the-knee socks, leggings, arm warmers, sunnies, umbrellas, weird hair things), clothing basics (cardigans, basic tees and tanks), kitchen things (fun cookie cutters, cook books, pie tins, weird shaped cake pans, holiday sprinkles, pretty jars for sugars and flours, cake stands).

Isn't this necklace sooo cute? From here!

And now, it's time for... the Ultimate Christmas Wish:

To be a Portland Housewife.

Let me explain. Portland housewives don't have to be from Portland, but they generally are, because that's where all the cool kids are from. They stay at home all day and bake and craft with their young children, then blog about it. They crochet and make cute stuffed animals out of felt and play dress up and have herb gardens. They shop at farmer's markets. They buy handmade. They go thrifting. They loiter around Etsy.

My first experience with the Portland Housewife was Amy Karol, and I believe she is actually a Portland Housewife. Then the Bluebird Vintage girl, who has a child and is crafty cool so qualifies, then the Red Velvet Girls and now I am just swamped with blogs to envy and projects to wish I was doing.

Anyway, seeing as I actually like my job (other than the whole waking up and having to work thing), and really only want to dabble in Portland Housewivery for now (although, in 5 years, I will be all over that shizz), I would like to craft more.

So what I need for that is: Patterns. A sewing machine. Books. Someone to teach me to knit. Someone to teach me to crochet. Cool wools. Cool fabrics. Needles. Buttons. Stamps. Inks. Funny-shaped hole punchers. Ribbons. Cute papers. A wicker basket to keep them all in.

Any contributions would be welcome.

BumpIts - As Seen on TV Network

For my darlings abroad / who don't watch TV, here is a bump it. Yes, it is the most hilarious invention since the Snuggie (now available for dogs). I know a girl who has one, and it actually looked ok.

I DIY'd a bumpit the other night out of one third of a paper towel roll. On the third attempt, it looked pretty great. But definitely could not go out knowing there was a recycled cardboard tube giving my hair its body. Because it would probably fall out.

Bangs

So in the end, I did get bangs. Half out of love for bangs, and half out of a desire not to maintain the brows.

This is me playing with photobooth at work. I chose the thermal effect because then you can't see how deathly grey my skin is in natural light. Instead, you can see how oily my nose is.

Anyway, note that I am wearing a headband. Most days I have to wear a headband, or hair pins, or have it up, or back comb it, or have it curled... So I can look like this:

(And OMG, isn't Lily Cole super adorable / delicious here?)

And not like this:

Or:

Which I do, if I just brush my hair and do nothing else. Am seriously contemplating investing in a Bump It, so as not to have to spend so much time / stolen hair products on back combing. Not sure if I could suffer through the humiliation.

Thoughts?

Embracing English Roots

In the last week, I watched 2 indie films (which I believe were pretty mainstream in the UK), and zero blockbusters. (I have absolutely no interest in seeing 2012, for some reason. Oh, probably because I think that John Cusak and Amanda Peet are the most irrelevant has beens to cast as romantic leads in any film after 2004. Don't get me wrong... I loved John Cusak... when I was 10).

The Boat That Rocked (Or, to American Audiences: Pirate Radio)

I have been anxiously awaiting this one since I saw the trailer when I took my 15 year old brother to see the Hangover as an attempt to buy his love back after not picking him up at the airport.

Anyhoo, what's not to love? The peeps from Love Actually (which I made NB watch in prep for both this and Christmas), with particular hearts to Bill Nighy. Jack Davenport, aka Steve from Coupling, who is showing up everywhere these days, most notably Flash Forward...

...And that hottie mc hot hot, Tom Sturridge, who you might remember from previous posts as being the hottie son from Being Julia, Robert Pattinson's bff (apparently he was sleeping on his couch in NY?) and also from briefly dating Camilla Belle. (Side note: on LaineyGossip, she had a hilarious posts about "why is?" and one of them was Camilla Belle which I thought was dead on). Except Holy Mutha I thought he had a monobrow when he first came on. But it's ok, it was just his greasyEnglishboy mop of hair.

Thoughts on Talulah Riley? I just can't decide on her. She was in St Trinians, which I loved, but I didn't love her. She was in Pride and Prejudice (the Kiera one) as the sister that no one remembers. She was in a little movie with RPattz (there's that cinema incest...) which I didn't see but she looked annoying in. She was the love interest in this. IDK. She's ok. She's pretty. I feel like she's one to look out for, if anyone is interested. Bet you she makes it big.

Oh. Right. The film.

The plot: A bunch of dudes operate an illegal rock and roll radio station from a boat in the English Channel and have to thwart the government peeps who try to shut them down.

I liked it, it was hilarious. The dialogue was super snappy, and it was really fun and campy. I had some issues with the story... it was just kind of like... whaa? The whole bad guys trying to shut down the radio thing felt like it was just thrown in to give some kind of structure to the happenings on board. Most of the attempts by the bad guys were shut down by a line from Bill Nighy ("Well, I hired this awesome DJ, so our sponsors will give u

s money from abroad since it's illegal in the UK..."). But whatever, who really cares about a little thing like emotional investment in the plot? I'm just rooting for the boy to get laid.

Although I did cry in the end. NB hinted that he might have gotten misty-eyed also. Here's a hint: they might have borrowed some shots from Titanic and The Perfect Storm. Yeaaaa.

~

An Education

LaineyGossip told me to watch this, and apparently I take whatever gossip blogs say to their millions of readers as personal messages à moi. Oh, also I saw the trailer on iTunes and it looked trés bien.

At first I was hesitant about Carey Mulligan, because I think she looks slightly lesbionic with her new haircut for Wall Street 2, but now that I've seen the film I'm thinking she is way too awesome for Shia. Not that I don't love him. But... I love her more.

Jenny, a swotty 16 year old trying to get into Oxford, decides that school isn't that awesome when you can just marry a rich, exciting older man.

I loved this movie because Jenny was so so so real. At the beginning of the film, I was like ugh, she is so much cooler than I was because she's clever and witty, and drops little bits of french into her speech, which I remember being the thing to do at that age but my accent was always dreadful. Hers is perfect.

Then she goes out with Peter Sarsgaard's friends, and meets Helen who is all sophisticated and chic and does her hair and wears jewels and in real life was a Bond girl one time... and Helen says she got her fur from King's road, and Jenny says something like "c'est trop cher pour moi." Very subtle, I like it. But Helen looks at her like she is a complete alien and goes "What did you say?" and Jenny says "I said it's too expensive for me." and Helen says "No you didn't." and Jenny says "I said it in French." And Helen says...

... Why?

And it is like whooosh you are a little embarrassed girl, and it's not like Helen is being rude, she is just genuinely perplexed. I was right thurr with Jenny.

Also later at dinner, Jenny gets all excited about the art and has a burst of enthusiasm and gives her very adult, flippant view on art, and they indulge her and make it so so clear that she is such a child playing grown up. And her man would tease her about being so bourgeois while doing ironically bourgeois things like drinking champagne at dinner and going to auctions.

Anyway, those were my two favorite moments. And also this white and red dress that she wears.

Also love: Olivia Williams as her teacher, and Emma Thompson as the head mistress. This was set in the 60s, by the way, which was interesting because the only thing women could do with a degree was go into public service or teach, and it was pretty normal to be insanely racist...

One thing I did not love: again, the plot was a little weak, or rather the overall lesson was. It was basically one big PSA to stay in school and not have sex. Um, that might clue you in on how it ends.

Hmm. It seems Emma Thompson shows up in both of these. Also bangs, which made me very analytical of my own. More to come on that topic. I also found myself sounding more English for a good half hour after... then I lost it again.

Should I Tell?

So I have this pair of American Eagle shoes, which were like $10.

I didn't think they were particularly awesome, but I've gotten quite a few compliments on them. And every time, I say 'thanks, they're from Payless.' You know, kind of a self-depreciating remark. Which then brings down my cool points by like 55000. Because in this school, people buy Polo, not Payless.

Question of the day: Should I just shut up about it and let them think I'm cool and don't shop at Payless? Or should I wear em with pride?

Peek-a-Boo

Back when we were little, Aunty Cyn lived in a really white building, one of the few places where people tried to celebrate Halloween. Some grown-ups would organize a list of apartments that didn't mind getting trick or treated, and then there would be a party afterwards.

One year, I was a headless ghost. Totally stole the idea from some kid on my block in England, but its not like our circles ever mixed. It was a really great costume, with a paper mache head for collecting candy in, and swimming arm bands around my arms so that my shirt would hold above my head, and eye holes to see out of (which, when the arm bands were deflated, were inconveniently positioned right over my pre-pubescent nips). I know that was a truly great costume, because some ang-moh boy hissed at his brother "Look at his costume!" and I was like "I'm a girl!" very indignantly. Which got me less street cred, in the end.

That was probably the best costume I've ever done. Other highlights:

Cruella DeVille - white dress cut open with cotton wool stuck to it, swim cap 'wig' with fake black and white fur stuck to it.

Fairy - Made my very own pink fairy dress with material from spotlight. Was not so well fitting, tight on the boobs and tummy, and had to wire it to my bra to stop it from slipping down.

French maid - Recycled costume from high school play.

Geri from the Spice Girls - Ordered the Union Jack dress for this one. Really went all out - we are making screachy open mouth faces and girl power peace signs in all the pics. Except we had an extra Spice, and also we were kind of the United Colours of Benneton version.

Little Red Riding Hood - Made my own red hood, which I was really quite proud of. Perturbed that people kept asking me if I was Belle from Beauty and the Beast.

Pirate - Which lots of people thought was a gypsy. Whatever.

Spider Solitaire - Fail of Fails. Pipe cleaner legs did not work out, dress was bizarre... fail fail fail.

Which leads me to the question: What to be this year? I am mostly set on buying something, since making things is so heartbreaking when they fail.

But what is cute+relevant to 2008+relevant to me?

It's not like I can be Bella from Twilight - I'll be some brunette chick who not only couldn't be bothered to dress up, but is looking slightly frumpy in her long cargo skirt (?!)

I really wanted to be Sarah from the Labyrinth, but I think people won't get it, so I'll just be back to brunette girl with frumps taste. I could be Lara Croft, I have the boobs and also black shorts, an olive tank top and brown hair. However, this is slightly 2002.

I kind of want to be Dorothy, but is so so so generic. As is Nurse, Cop, Sailor, Wench etc etc. Bonnie and Clyde I LOOOVE, but natch stupid NB is away this semester so ruins all the fun I could have had with couple costumes.

So How Now Brown Cow?

OOOOH. Just had a spark of genius.

Compliment of the day!

In line for lunch: "Oh that's cute, it looks like something a fine arts student would make."

I really do look quite arty today, even if all my cool stuff is of the purchased variety not the actually cool home made variety.

Today's look:

-Capri-sonne bag from Far East Plaza. Fits my laptop perfectly. You may remember it as the bag that boys love because they understand it. It's made of capri-sonne packets, awesome.

-White t-shirt from Aunty Cyn from Topshop. It's got some drawing of some birds in a tree that looks pretty Quinten Blake, and it's been cut up the back and is held on by 2 tied up strings on the back.

-Denim skinnies from Mango. My legs are still hideous from being some fatty sand flies' lunches back in Bintan, so I have taken to covering them up despite the hot hot heat.

-White Zara sandals from Aunty Cyn that are a size too big and give me blisters but are still held in high regard.

-White sunglasses from Charles and Keith that I spent all summer looking for :) <3 -Aquamarine bra from Target. Since my shirt is backless and my boobs require bra-age, I tend to wear this shirt with exciting bras. Besides, the colour matches the bird picture.

Ok I'm done pretending to be a fashion blogger now. You'll forgive me for not posting a self-shot-mirror picture. I didn't think I would be needing one when I left the house, and we don't have any full length mirrors anyway.

Best Halloween Costume EVER!

Took this from Stephanie Meyer's page. It's a chick at the Breaking Dawn release party.

Hahaha. How embarrassing!!!!!!!!! But also really really great.

Spotted?

So... I'm pretty sure I saw Lily Cole in the basement of Paragon today.

Two tall-ass girls were walking towards me and I was like *psh* I bet they're models. Then I saw their faces and one had curly red hair and a moonish pale face. And I nearly choked on my diet coke, which was very glam as I'm sure you can all imagine. Think bubbles frothing over my straw and down my face.

Anyway, I couldn't chase her down and interrogate her because I had to go get my wisdom teeth out.

On one hand, I'm pretty sure it was her. On the other hand, what the eff would she be doing in Singapore? And wouldn't people know about that? And why would she be in the basement of Paragon? There's only food down there. Models don't eat, do they?

So if anyone hears anything of her whereabouts (she's rumoured to be trying to get to Spain for a romantic getaway with Jude Law), let me know. I am curious.

Pet Peeve

Black Lace

I'm sorry lah, I know it's meant to be super stylish and fashionable right now, and it's in every magazine and Prada ad but...

I think it's very ugly.