The Red Pepper

TheBigBoss is away this week, so I finally have time to catch up on my reading / procrastinating. You are probably wondering how one can have to 'catch up' on procrastinating - trust me, it takes many years of experience to get to this level. Think of it like sleep debt... if I don't get my 8 hours in a day, I have to do 10 the next. Only not quite as many hours.

Anyway, let me share with you the incident of The Red Pepper.

Last weekend, NB and I took a little impromptu road trip southeast. I give only the direction because there is mostly nothing there, except eventually we got to the Salton Sea.

Day 1, Gas Stop 1, there was a fruit stand by the gas station . They have bags of 25 avocados for $5! 25! But the 25 are very small. They also have 10 large for $5. Still very cheap. We go for the 10, not thinking about how there is no way we could possibly finish 10 avocados in the time it takes for them to ripen, and especially not thinking about how being shut in a warm car does something chemically to speed up the ripening process. (Don't question me on that one, it's part of the 'food magic' that I can't explain along with ripening avocados with apples and bananas and leaving the seed in the guac to keep it from browning.)

Naturally, we arrive home the next day and they are perfect. The bestest, creamiest, smoothest, non-brown avocados we have ever eaten. True Californian Avocados.

By Monday we realize that eating 9 avocados in the 2-3 days following would probably not be possible. As it is a public holiday for some, NB, Dad and I have a dude day with a Star Wars marathon and doughnuts. We decide to make it an even Dudier day by making some guac. The NB is sent to the store to get the supplies.

He comes back with:

3 tomatoes

1 red pepper

1 block of tofu (for other purposes).

And says: I forgot the lime!

And I am like... and the cilantro. And everything else. And WHY did you buy a red pepper?

NB: You said! You said to buy a red pepper!

Me: I most certainly did not.

NB: You said pepper! You said red!

Me: *Confused* Maybe I meant black pepper? But we have black pepper... what else goes into guac?

NB: You also said mint but I didn't want to.

Me: Cilantro... tomato... onion! I SAID RED ONION! NOT RED PEPPER!

NB: Oh.

So the NB was sent back to Vons to pick up, ya know, ALL the ingredients except the tomato.

Maybe you had to be there. But that red pepper was the butt of many jokes for the rest of the week.

E-Postcard

I'm bummed this is so pixellated. And small. After all my efforts :( Oh well. You can just click it.

Straight out of a teen comedy

So... I'm spending the holidays visiting with cousin Melsie. Until last night, we had been squatting at her bfs house, but yesterday we moved to her real house.

I stayed up past everyone else last night (watching Will and Grace and SITC), then staggered upstairs, somewhat groggy, to brush teeth etc. Could only find toner and moisturizer on the counter by the sink, so I checked the shower for facewash. Found a bottle marked 'dermatologically tested' which also said something about not drying skin and that sort of stuff. It had a weird cap, not like a flippy one, but the kind you just pull up a couple of mm. Like a fancy water bottle. But I got it. Awesome.

This morning, in the shower, I reached for the same bottle. THEN I decided to read it properly. It was 'intimate wash', which I didn't really get until I saw (right after derm tested) 'and gynecologically tested'.

OH MAH GAWWWWD.

It's like a scene from American Pie or Superbad. Except it would have been a guy and they would have woken up with a yeast infection in their eye. Or something. Or like meangirls where they gave Regina George a bottle of foot lotion for her face (but all it did was make her face smell like a foot. And Aaron Samuels loved it, smells like peppermint...).

Face still looks like a face, not a vagina. Although I guess that's subjective. Looks no more like a vagina than it did yesterday. Will keep you updated.

Someone Really Wants My Money

I got 2 money scams (at least... I hope they're scams...) in my Hotmail today, and I thought I'd share, because they brought me great amusement. Particularly number 2.

One - Abby Bank (from: no-reply@abbey.co.uk)

During our regularly scheduled maintenance and verification of our Database, we have detected a slight error in your account information.

This might be due to either of the following reasons:

• A recent change in your personal information (i.e.change of Email address).
  
• Submiting invalid information during the initial sign up process.
  
• An inability to accurately verify your selected option of payment due to an internal error within our processors.

Please verify your informations by log on your account :

https://onlineaccounts.abbeynational.co.uk/CentralLogon/Logon?action=prepare

If your account information is not updated, your ability to access your account will become restricted.

Thank you

Fraud Prevention Unit
Legal Advisor
The Abbey Bank Group

Okay, the only account I have with Abbey National is from when I was like 3 years old way back before the internet was around and certainly before I was old enough to fill in an email ad with my application.

Whatever, that was pretty run of the mill. Here's the really good one:

Two - From an old ACJC classmate.

Subject: I Need Your Urgentely Help (Please Respond Immediately)‏

Hello Dear,
I am in a hurry writing this mail. I had a trip to West
Africa Nigeria visiting the tinapa opening ceremony.
Unfortunately for me all my money got stolen at the hotel
where i lodged from the attack of some armed robbers and
since then i have been without any money i am even owing
the hotel here,So i have only access to emails,my mobile
phone can't work here so i didn't bring it along. Please
can you lend me $1,000 so i can return back and settle
the hotel bills i would return it back to you as soon as
i get home.
I am so confused right now because i am in serious trouble
overhere .You can have the money sent to me through my
informations via Western Union.
Receivers Name-- Michelle Inami
Receivers Address---120 campos Street Lagos Island,Lagos
23401,Nigeria
Mtcn NUM 10 digit that would be given to you at the Western
Union Money Outlet--?
Text Question--who sent money
Text Answer--you
Amount Sent--?
Please dont forget to attach photocopy of  the Scan Receipt
in which you use in sending the  Money  at the  western
Union Outlet .
Hope to hear from you.
Thanks and God bless  

This would be really tragic if it were true, and props to them, because MichIm would totz say 'hello dear' and also because it came from her real email add.

But, no dice.

First off, I would like to think anyone in AC arts would know that 'I need your urgently help' makes absolutely no sense. Second, we weren't that close anyway, certainly not close enough that she would email me for a thousand dollars. I'm pretty sure she'd call her parents. Either way, I don't have $1000, so fail fail fail.

Well, I hope you enjoyed that. Here's celebrating my 201th post. :)

Famous By Association!

CONGRATULATIONS ALEXANDRA KS HUI!

(Here is a picture of Alex on a gold lion when we were on our trip to Narnia. Actually, we were in France, but Singapore is the lion city so it's kind of relevant, right?)

Miss Sexy Lexie won the singtel grid girls shizz, so she is officially the first of our generation to make it big. Not physically, I won that contest many years ago. Anyway, read it here.

Lex - both my Dad and Aunty Olive are dead impressed that the moolah is going to your mother.

Also, while looking for an awesome awks picture, I was reminded how great our trip to France was, when we got to stay in awesome hotels and eat great food and shop and not spend any of our own money. Here are some highlights:

Alex and I fight crime.

Don't let the modelly-model face fool you, is actually just lusting after hot chocolate.

And the ultimate fav...

Bahahahahah.

Revisiting Risotto

Over spring break, the roomie and I stopped by Seattle for a night, and went to a birthday dinner at a moderately classy Italian restaurant. Sad to say, neither of us were particularly impressed with the food... hers I was pretty sure I could have made myself, and I found my ravioli sauce kind of too much on the brothy-side.

Whoa there, look at me writing all pretnetious-y. It's because I've spent all morning reading food blogs like Chubby Hubby.

Anyway...

Basically, nothing in this restaurant was cheesy or tomato-ey or robust, which is really what I think Italian food should be. I reached over and tried the birthday girl's risotto, and it was watery. How can you have watery risotto? And then I was a big bitch and sat there thinking "my risotto is way better."

I haven't made my risotto in a while because it is basically carbs cooked in fat, and I'd rather not tempt myself. But that meal rekindled my interest in it, and since I actually have stuff to do for school this week, it was the perfect opportunity to procrastinate with some cooking.

See, this is why it's better for everyone that I steal pictures from random blogs. This just looks like a pile of poop. But it was delish. Regardless,

Mushroom Risotto
(feeds 2-3 ppl, depending on how much of a fatty you and your friends are)

1/3 stick of butter (1/6 of a cup?)
1 tbsp olive oil
1 shallot (thinly sliced)
1 clove of garlic (diced)
Sliced mushrooms (1/3 of a box? I used button but if you are fancy, portobello would be good)
1 cup med grain rice
1/2-1 cup dry white wine (depends on how tart you want it)
16 oz (ish) chicken stock (or vegetable I guess)

1/2 cup grated parmesan (more if you like that)
Salt n pepper


Heat the oil and melt the butter into it. Have the chicken stock heating in a diff pan. Sautee the onions and garlic (and here's a tip I learnt from Giada: put the onions in first then put the garlic on top of them so the garlic doesn't get burnt. Genius.) Season. Add mushrooms, sautee them too. Add rice, stir. Add wine, stir until all the wine is absorbed by the rice. Add a little chicken stock, stir until absorbed by rice. Repeat. Continue until rice is cooked. I checked that by taste testing, but it'll probably be cooking for about 20 minutes. Season. Watch out for the salt, coz parmesan is pretty salty too and you haven't added that yet. Turn off stove, stir in cheese. Eat. Yum.

So really, it's easy to make and only takes 1/2 an hour, but is kind of a bitch coz you have to stand there and stir. Would go well with roasted asparagus (but the Ralph's produce was tragically disappointing so we skipped that) and grilled chicken. Mostly coz I'm anal about having well rounded meals. Gotta hit every food group.

Still Smarting

Today was Bonding with Beverly day -- since our junk shopping has gone all non shopping, this now consists of getting waxed.

OVERSHARE TIME -- BOYS, CLICK AWAY

Stripped, at Wheelock place, is considerably better than A Touch Of Class at the UV in LA, classy as the establishment may be. Why?

Waxing room:

Stripped: Little cubicles with cute msgs on the ceiling for you to look at.

ATC: Little cubicle in the middle of hairdressing salon with walls that don't reach the ceiling so hair cuttees can listen to your howls of pain.

On the table bed:

Stripped: Freshly laundered towels.

ATC: Paper off a roll. Possibly what people use to bake.

Wax they used:

Stripped: Regular hot wax for the 'less' painful parts. This cool bubblegum looking wax that doesnt use strips for the TRES painful parts.

ATC: Regular hot wax all over, with lots of "relax, it hurts more if your muscles are tensed". Easier said than done.

Price:

Stripped: S$ 49.20

ATC: US$ 35 ish (without tip)


Stripped was way fast too. That's good because it gives you less time to think about the impending doom as they stick the cloth to you and make sure it's ready etc etc. My only issue was that my woman scolded me a lot. Like a lot. Mostly for shaving, because it gives you ingrown hair and is only cutting it not pulling it out from the folicle etc etc. IDK. Bev's woman was nice apparently. But maybe because Bev didn't commit any offences. I had at least 2 more that I won't mention.

The Best Things In Life Are Free

Or: How to do Vegas the smart way.

Go with a native.

1) Stay with native, or, go when her mother is around to get you a room at the MGM.

2) Do meals with her relatives.

Eat: Buffet, Thanksgiving Dinner, Pizza, Thai, Pie, Vietnamese, Good ol' homecooked chinese food.

Be: a Fatty.

3) Watch movies at places where she has 'comps'. As in, here's your tickets and your popcorn, fatty.


This way, you get to spend all your money on:
Clothes. Shoes. And junk. Which are not on thanksgiving sale, for some reason.

Tonight after the movie, we also spent a really long time looking for this mystical sonic that Rach and I swore we saw on the way to somewhere. Our excuse was that I've never had it, and it's a must. When we finally saw it, Melissa swerved dangerously towards it. We all screamed, but not in terror of the impending death, but joy.

The end.

Viva Las Vegas!!!

There's something a little ironic about spending Thanksgiving in Sin City, even if it is with a friend's families.

All Alone....

You can tell you've been alone too long when you start to think in terms of what you will write on your blog. Because the internet is your closest friend. I mean, I'm having a great time conquering Soho and Covent Garden alone, but it really gives you time to think. And here is my epiphany for the day:

This summer/year, my catch phrase has kind of been 'I hate people'. I've said it ALOT. But walking through the crowds of drunkards outside all the pubs, trying to get back to the flat, I realised: I don't hate all people. I adore my people, and there must be at least 10 of them. I just hate other people.

So here's to you, other people, hanging out with your other other people. I hate you all.

Better Already

So, I've been in London for what, 3 hours? Already I have glanced coquettishly (not really, I just did in my head.) at at least 5 good looking men on the tube. I can't even remember the last time I did that in Singapore.

Happy times.

And you know, not to be offensive or anything, but I remember English men not being as hot as the ones on the Continent.

So things are looking up for me.