So... I'm spending the holidays visiting with cousin Melsie. Until last night, we had been squatting at her bfs house, but yesterday we moved to her real house.
I stayed up past everyone else last night (watching Will and Grace and SITC), then staggered upstairs, somewhat groggy, to brush teeth etc. Could only find toner and moisturizer on the counter by the sink, so I checked the shower for facewash. Found a bottle marked 'dermatologically tested' which also said something about not drying skin and that sort of stuff. It had a weird cap, not like a flippy one, but the kind you just pull up a couple of mm. Like a fancy water bottle. But I got it. Awesome.
This morning, in the shower, I reached for the same bottle. THEN I decided to read it properly. It was 'intimate wash', which I didn't really get until I saw (right after derm tested) 'and gynecologically tested'.
OH MAH GAWWWWD.
It's like a scene from American Pie or Superbad. Except it would have been a guy and they would have woken up with a yeast infection in their eye. Or something. Or like meangirls where they gave Regina George a bottle of foot lotion for her face (but all it did was make her face smell like a foot. And Aaron Samuels loved it, smells like peppermint...).
Face still looks like a face, not a vagina. Although I guess that's subjective. Looks no more like a vagina than it did yesterday. Will keep you updated.