Esoteric Inklings

The words 'esoteric' and 'nefarious' have been floating around the office a lot this week. I know, whaaa? The only reason I even know the word esoteric is because of writing 340.

Anyway, esoteric seems to describe my ultimate Christmas wish. The other stuff is just cuckoo bananas items, business as usual. (Isn't the phrase cuckoo bananas just great? I picked it up from Degrassi a while ago and have only now resurrected it.) This Christmas List was done at the request of my darling Choops, but anyone else who wants to give me presents is welcome to. That's YOU, NB!

(Speaking of NB and presents, he did a wonderful job of getting me the microplane for our 2 year anniversary present. All the TV chefs have one, so of course, I believed that it was the only thing standing between me and great zest.)

The regular stuff first:

1. 2010 planner

I need a planner, because now that I am a grown up, I plan on 'doing drinks' and 'getting together' after 'checking my schedule' . And while the computer is all well and good, it is not as fun. I also associate it too closely with work.

Here are my requirements:

- Small-ish, and light. Must fit in my purse.

- Cute. Must not be embarrassed to take it out in public.

- Of good quality paper. Must be able to withstand personalization with highlighters and other office supplies.

- Must open to the spine (eg. spiral binding). I am left handed and if it doesn't open all the way it's realllly hard to write.

Inspiration: Here, and here, and here, and here. All are somewhat lacking.

(The picture is from Red Velvet Art - their stuff is sooo cute, especially the underpants. But no planners :( )

2. Feather skirt

I know, you are probably like errr... fashion faux pas. But I think they are so cute.

Requirements:

- A wearable colour. There is a hot pink one floating around the internet that I am not digging.

- A fun length. And by fun, I mean short. Not like teeny tiny, but you know, not matronly.

Concessions:

- This would also be acceptable in dress form, if the top of the dress is cute too.

(I am a medium, or size 12 uk, 6 us)

3. Rain boots

Granted, it rains maybe 3 days a year in LA. But boy, on those 3 days, I always wish I had Wish William's Wellingtons.

There was a pair from the Gap that I loooved a couple of years ago, navy with a pink trim. All gone now.

Requirements:

- Cute (duh)

- Not too colourful. I need to be able to wear this with whatever outfits, and probably my polkadot raincoat.

(I am a size 8 1/2 us... 39 eur... I think uk 7 1/2? I used to be 8 but my feet have been shrinking...)

Speaking of boots...

4. Motorcycle boots

So, my beloved brown Payless boots have a hole in the zip from four years of loving, a million spilt drinks and one winter of sledding (Yes, I went sledding in heels. The were wonderful ice picks). These Pradas would be an excellent replacement. (I also have my over the knee black Victoria's secret boots, but they are pretty whorish and not entirely work appropriate, and also, they make my feet feel a 19th C Chinese woman with bound feet... and a computer...)

Requirements:

- None, kind of. I mean, black or brown. Heel, or none. Knee-high or mid-calf. (Er, not ankle though. And mid-calf might look cankly, but I am open to your good taste).

5. Rolling pin

It's just one of those things that I really need but have never bought. I have been using a wine bottle (always available in my apartment) covered in clingfilm. It does the job, just not as well.

Other things that are always welcome:

Costume jewelry (or real, that's cool too), accessories (hats, scarves, gloves, over-the-knee socks, leggings, arm warmers, sunnies, umbrellas, weird hair things), clothing basics (cardigans, basic tees and tanks), kitchen things (fun cookie cutters, cook books, pie tins, weird shaped cake pans, holiday sprinkles, pretty jars for sugars and flours, cake stands).

Isn't this necklace sooo cute? From here!

And now, it's time for... the Ultimate Christmas Wish:

To be a Portland Housewife.

Let me explain. Portland housewives don't have to be from Portland, but they generally are, because that's where all the cool kids are from. They stay at home all day and bake and craft with their young children, then blog about it. They crochet and make cute stuffed animals out of felt and play dress up and have herb gardens. They shop at farmer's markets. They buy handmade. They go thrifting. They loiter around Etsy.

My first experience with the Portland Housewife was Amy Karol, and I believe she is actually a Portland Housewife. Then the Bluebird Vintage girl, who has a child and is crafty cool so qualifies, then the Red Velvet Girls and now I am just swamped with blogs to envy and projects to wish I was doing.

Anyway, seeing as I actually like my job (other than the whole waking up and having to work thing), and really only want to dabble in Portland Housewivery for now (although, in 5 years, I will be all over that shizz), I would like to craft more.

So what I need for that is: Patterns. A sewing machine. Books. Someone to teach me to knit. Someone to teach me to crochet. Cool wools. Cool fabrics. Needles. Buttons. Stamps. Inks. Funny-shaped hole punchers. Ribbons. Cute papers. A wicker basket to keep them all in.

Any contributions would be welcome.

Looking through old pictures...

Am reminded that while their faces are very different, NB and the first BF (Maggothead, I am leaning towards...) are very close, physically. Which suits me just fine, especially since NB is slightly taller so I can wear heels and still be shorter.

Funny picture, because Maggothead (understand that this is not an insult so much as a reference to a time that maggots crawled on his head... Su and Sam will remember this...) was in the army and had sand in his ears and his lip was all banged up and his shoulder all scarred. And was wearing my pink aviators. It was our first real date, I guess, to Swensons at PS. When we were all hush hush secret secret. Heh. Oh, memories.

It's nice to be able to look at a photo and still be in love with the moment, even if not with the person.

Runners up:

At prom, where MH is looking more like gay stylist than potential boyfriend.

In boxers, my sunhat and white sunglasses. Cannot seem to find picture taken on same day where a bra replaces sunhat in some kind of bizarre Mickey Mouse parody.

In changing room at Tangs, trying on an incredibly tight pair of skinny jeans (him, not me).

Strangely, have two pictures featuring... 'Pen pen', as he affectionately named himself. Fear not, Nick, your number will always be higher. Also one of Sean Marc. (Sorry, lah, he does not need a code.) And a really great one of Dom being a nerd. And of course, tons with Su, Adelle and Sam.

Aw.

My 2 Front Teeth

Here is my list! I don't know why I act like y'all have been waiting with bated breath, I guess I just like to be dramatic.

1) A KitchenAid Artisan Mixer

So I don't get blisters trying to make the egg whites form stiff peaks.

Arrived this morning, courtesy of the East Coast branch of the Family.

2)A Not Too Short Not Too Long Double Breasted Cowl Necked Grey Pea Coat

So I can look like Edward Cullen, but a girl. JK.

I believe that is on the way, many thanks to Choops and the Singapore Friends.

3) A piping set

So my cupcakes will look cool.

4) A Killer Interview Outfit

So I can get a job at an agency. Comme ca? Maybe, but I really wanted a frilly blouse with it.

5) A MacBook Pro

So I can be all trendy-mac-cool and also so I can woo without having to attach this embarrassing alien eye to my computer.

Ok, that's all I have right now.

YouTube Really Hates Me

Sorry I've been MIA. Weekend with the fam in Bintan. Am now covered in sandfly bites. Super not cool.

In other news, youtube hates me. It's officially stopped posting the videos I want it to, so we are back to links.

1) Order of the Phoenix Trailer - I don't know why you wouldn't have watched this yet.

2) Harry Potter in the Hood - A kind of funny spoof. I actually thought this was quite clever. It's a year old so maybe y'all have seen it.

3) If you go to the MTV movie blog, you get to see videos of hilarious fan girls all freakin' out about the twilight book and reading it on the floor while their friends pay and getting tattoos and shizz.

Ok, that's all I have for you. I just wanted to touch base before I lose all human contact while reading Breaking Dawn. (PS Watch out for bumper stickers, spoilers are going up! I saw one and it just about broke my heart so I called Su to read it to her and ruin her life too. Heh.)

I love my choobs

Whenever I'm a little blue, there's nothing like a little bitch-fest with Su.

Here are some choice quotes.

On Neighbour-Boy Going Home:
but tt's ridiculous! i don't miss my family

On People Looking Better Than Remembered:
i wonder what foundation she uses...must be pretty damn good...her skin looks nice

Baha. Oh the backhanded compliments.

On Looking At The Bright Side:
this one she kinda looks freaky...yeah but it's still cute in an ugly way

So Su, this is for you. Ah, Adelle, you have come online to partake in the fun. :)

The Bitch Goddess Notebook

So, home for the holidays means I get to read again. Haven't done that in a while, other than some crappy romances from Ralphs. And by crappy I mean really amazing.


Anyway, the book is basically about 3 BFFs in 1988 and also them after 15 years of not speaking to each other because of some big bad that they did. (I bet you thought it was going to be one of those hilarious how-to books, like how to be a bitch goddess. I wish it was too.)

It has an interesting style, the chapters are POV of the 3 girls in turn, and every other chapter is 15 years ago... so there's alot of time travel going on.

Lots of sex, which was pretty excellent. I liked that it didn't glamourise it at all, and that the girls were always bitching about it after. Er, it was pretty graphic though. That might be a good or bad thing, depending.

Didn't like the blatant forboding 'hints' at the terrible terrible thing which they did.

Also, was not entirely sure that I believed that they all had such fucked up lives and parents.

One girls parents were alcoholics because their first daughter was perfect except that she was mentally retarded and had to live in a home. This same girl used to be a cheerleader but ditched the bitches to hang out with these 2 freaks so they could have a really cool lesbian sex death cult, or so the rumours at school said. Then she grows up and has a really predictable melodramatic story line that I felt no sympathy for whatsoever.

The second girl was the 'tough' one but she was in an abusive relationship and her (single) mother was shooting up all the time. And she was obsessed with cutting and Princess Diana. She ends up in a mental institution for the 15 years later part.

The last girl is the valedictorian, who has an affair with her married teacher and 15 years later is a published author slash teacher that sleeps with her TAs and likes to be cut during sex.

Drama, huh?

I did like the frequent references to Degrassi (the original), it was nice to know that people cared about Spike and Joey when they were young.

(SPOILERSSSSSSS) Other than that... the whole Bitch Posse thing was cute because it's something I think that all girls go through, having a gang (somehow usually of 3...) that you can go to for anything. I mean, they were a little drastic, I'm not sure that I would take the blame for killing a man alone so that Adelle and Su could run free. On the other hand, I'm almost certain that Adelle and I wouldn't decide that it was a great idea for the 3 of us to get revenge on Su's teacher lover by pretending that he would get an awesome night with 3 underaged chicks and then carve his wife's name into his chest and then accidentally kill him. But if we did accidentally kill him, I think we'd still talk afterwards.

Speaking of, it's nice to have Su around. Now where is Adelle? I miss you my own Bitch Goddess!

Here is my fine Microsoft Paint masterpiece that I'm sure everyone loves. But anyway,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SU LING
I LOVE YOU MANY MANY!