Thursday, May 29, 2008

Dear Nick...

I mean, I guess "Dear Anyone" is fine, but Nick in particular.

Please go watch the MTV 'doc' Fat Camp and pay particular attention to the character Dianne. It was on TV last night and I SWEAR in my head I could hear Nick rolling around on the floor laughing. Trust me.


Monday, May 26, 2008

An Eventful Trip To Starbucks

And here I was, worried that I wouldn't have anything to write about for the rest of my life.

I've been sitting on the couch wooing/watching TV for 3 days straight, and tonight, my eyes were feeling particularly square. I was also ready for bed, despite having only been awake for 9 hours. So, at 10:15 pm I decided I needed a quick Starbucks break.

Then, on the way home from Starbucks, I see these cop lights in my rearview mirror. (It is literally 2 streets away from my apartment, so the fact that I get pulled over is really really pathetic.) I have had this great fear of getting pulled over, ever since the great road trip of '08 where Rach and I were pulled over in every state from California to Canada. Anyway, I was all effeffeff oh no, as I roll down the window, not entirely sure that I was even meant to be stopping since the lights weren't flashing or anything.

Cop comes to my window. My headlights were off. Damn. "I'm so sorry! Oh my god, I didn't even notice!" Also, my stickers are expired. *What the eff are stickers?!* Lisence and registration please. "I don't have a proper registration because my car company (EFFING FELIX) was meant to do it for me and they said it would be sent to my house but I haven't gotten it yet!" He takse my stuff away. He comes back, tells me he is going to give me a warning.

I pull the foreign card. "I'm so sorry, I'm not from America, I didn't realize I needed new stickers!"

"Oh really, where are you from?"


"Oh are you mixed?" I babble for some time about being mixed, he tries to make the Asian connection (he was Asian), asking if I spoke Chinese. I babble about being too late to take it. He comments on my accent, inquires after my major etc. Babble like a brook. Laugh about needing a job or a husband. He gives me some tips like parking in a structure so I don't get a ticket for the stickers, but don't worry, it's a fixit tickit, do you know what that means? No, I don't. It means when you fix it, the ticket goes away. Grooves.

But here, have my business card. Call if you have any questions at all. Okay I will! Yea, call soon. Okay! Bye!

Drive home, sniggering to myself, cursing my forgetfullness.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

War, Inc

Saw this for free. I had high hopes, I'm not going to lie. It had that famous ad, where Hils has a funny accent and puts a scorpion in her pants. It's sad when the high point of a movie is Lizzie McGuire and Popeye's chicken.

Monday, May 19, 2008

Really Hawt

Let me begin with an anecdote:

When I was home in December, I was having a day out with my friend, Bev. We were in Borders, loitering around the tween book section and noticed a large pile of some melo-dramatic series about vampires. We half-seriously joked about how I should buy it, but then I thought it looked so awful I refused.

Anyway, turns out this book was Twilight, a movie coming out soon, but more importantly, starring Cedric Diggory! (Ok ok, his real name is Robert Pattinson.)

I'm sure you all remember being broken hearted in like... sec 2, when the most handsome man in the Harry Potter series DIED. And then reliving the heartache when he turned out to be actually handsome, in the movie, and again, DIED! Well, now Rob-bob is playing a vampire, so he's immortal - suck on that, Voldie!

Why didn't I buy the book, Damnit!

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian

Way, way, infinately better than Narnia #1: Mr Tumlus Is The Only Saving Grace. Rona thought it was a little boring, but Ryan and I adored it.

The Plot: (This one is going to be long, because it's fresh in my memory.)

It's Narnia, but a good thousand plus years later. All the Narnians have been killed off/sent into hiding, and a new breed of faux-Spanish humans rule the world. Caspian (aka Ben Barnes, aka Some small role in Stardust aka REALLY HANDSOME MAN) is the heir to the throne that his Uncle, Miraz (aka some Italian man), is looking after for him. On the night the movie starts, Miraz has a son and thus realizes, really, why keep Caspers around? Luckily, Casps is warned by his wizened tutor, who passes him some mysterious covered object and gives a foreboding warning, and escapes into the forest. Hot on his heels are his Uncle's soldiers, out for his blood. Caspers runs into some dwarves just as the men decend upon him, and he takes out the mystery object, which is just a horn, and blows it. Whoop whoop, one dwarf gets kidnapped and Caspers is knocked out.

Meanwhile, in Post WWI London, the 4 kiddies are a little bit more grown up. Susan (aka Anna Popplewell aka nose and lips are strangely bublous aka Thunderpants! haha) is getting hit on by some nerd at the newsagents and has a hilarious moment where she tells him her name is Phyllis (just like my granny!) when that little monster, Lucy (aka Georgie Henley - do you know how much I hate that name?) runs out yelling "Susan!" Silly brat. Anyway, they run into the train station and Peter (aka William Moseley aka All Grown Up Now, Eh?) is in a fight with some chaps showing off his male egoness, and Edmund (aka Skander Keynes aka Really Quite Funny Now) jumps in to help. Anyhoo, they deal with that problem and are waiting for the train when suddenly ... ok, I'm getting a little too detailed for my own good.

Basically, the kids end up in Narnia and are shocked to find so much time has passed. Meanwhile ,Caspers is gathering an army of Narnians to fight his Uncle and take back what is his. Also meanwhile, his uncle is killing off important people and amassing some armies. Oh yea, and everyone is sad that Aslan isn't around except Lucy, being the crazy little thing that she is, keeps seeing him. The kids hook up with Caspers and decide to work together. Susan and Caspers have a moment, lots of jokes about how young they are.

Peter (who I keep trying to call John for some reason...) and Caspers kind of butt heads because of the two-alpha-males problem, but they go attack the castle in a very exciting scene, but lots of people die and for some reason that silly little cow with the bottle of ever-life doesn't come save them this time. They are very angry with each other, Caspers considers getting the Ice Queen to help in a slightly-redundent but very well done scene, but Edmund kills her so it's ok.

Uncle comes to fight them and there is a big scene and they lose and Uncle takes over the world. Ha-ha not really, but everything from there is pretty self-explanatory.

Then Caspers kisses Susan, and she and Peter-John are told they can never come back to Narnia, and the 4 kids are booted out. Susan is greeted merrily by nerd-o who is all "Hey Phyllis!" and it was the saddest thing I've ever seen. The end.

The Good: Well, might as well get it out there: Handsome Handsome Man, Prince Caspian. Also, Peter is all grown up and looking sexy, although acting like a bit of a tool. Plus, his real name is Will, so, er, soulmates? So that's the best part taken care of. The fight scenes were pretty amazing, and heartbreaking. Look out for the secret thing that Caspers does during the last fight, it will take your breath away. Edmund totally redeems himself in this one and is very endearing. Susan and Lucy have some hilarious banter about how shit Susan is at flirting. There is a funny mouse that is very close to Puss In Boots from Shrek mixed with Sir Digamus or whatever from the Labyrinth. Oh yea, also yay to the costumes, especially Susans'!

The Bad: As usual, there is too much preaching because Aslan is secretly-not-secretly God. There are some overly melo-dramatic emotional things, and they hit you over the head a bit with not believing in him. Lots of the conflict was very trivial and avoidable, which made me mad. Some of the plot was a little random, and could have been tied up better. Lucy was not very good, but better than last time. She is too self-righteous, and everyone loves her too much, and also, she only wants to save her little-people/creature friends.

The Ugly: The women. I mean, sad, but true. There was lots of male eye-candy, and then there was big-nosed Susan who is cute but not cute enough to get Caspers for sure, and also little uggers Lucy, who couldn't be eye candy anyway, unless you are some kind of pervert.

Also ugly: Poor Susan's life after she leaves Narnia. I mean really, how tragic, you'll never recover from that one. I was very fixated on this all evening. I think Su would be too. It's just one of those things, she and Caspers didn't even get time to really hang out or anything and she was sent away, and she'll never find anyone that hot in the real world, especially without her "High Queen" status. And even if she did, he'd be dating Giselle or something, not homely little schoolgirl Susan. But props to her for being so Girl-Powery and fighting and being really cool with her bow and arrow. I remember when I was a kid and had a bow and arrow thing that I made myself. I was awesome. I digress.

Yay or Nay? Yay. I thought it was great, if you take all the morally bits with a pinch of salt and remember that it's still a kids movie. Su, for sure. And Sonia. And all girl-kind.

Saturday, May 17, 2008


I'll admit, when I saw the ads for 10,000 BC, I laughed mockingly. But now that it's come and gone, I find that I really need to watch it. Why?

His name is Steven Strait, and he is officially a Sex God. Well, I mean not that I could say for sure or anything, but he's hot. How was he discovered?

He is none other than Hottie McFireHands from Sky High. That's not his real name, it's Warren Peace or some shizz. Movie, not that good. Man? Really handsome.

Here's another pic, just for kicks.

Ha ha, yea, he's also in the Covenant. Another terrible movie that I now NEED to watch.

Sucks to be a guy

Has anyone ever noticed that a man's best friend is his dog, but diamonds are a girl's best friend?

Friday, May 16, 2008

Mister Steak, you're my only friend.

If only I had a steak.

I am being serially abandoned by my loved ones (neighbour boy (nb from heretoforth), mels bells, rach, other neighbours, now rona...) (and those that do not abandon are studying for SATs but not really, just MCATs). As such, I will probably be blogging constantly, so as to keep in touch with the outside world.

Here is a little update on life:

-Have stolen NB's mattress/mattress pads.

-Bed now looks like a double layered strawberry cake with mocha cream sticking it together. Or ash.

-Spent a very long time at FedEx trying to send NB his computer. Was adopted by a random Mexican lady (who probably thought I was pregnant).

-In a random spurt of domesticity, have done $15 of laundry, including NB's sheets/duvet.

-As usual, have run out of steam and will probably leave my clothes on the floor.

-Am contemplating selling my old textbooks online. Seems like a lot of effort.

I love my choobs

Whenever I'm a little blue, there's nothing like a little bitch-fest with Su.

Here are some choice quotes.

On Neighbour-Boy Going Home:
but tt's ridiculous! i don't miss my family

On People Looking Better Than Remembered:
i wonder what foundation she uses...must be pretty damn good...her skin looks nice

Baha. Oh the backhanded compliments.

On Looking At The Bright Side:
this one she kinda looks freaky...yeah but it's still cute in an ugly way

So Su, this is for you. Ah, Adelle, you have come online to partake in the fun. :)

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

If you know me at all, you know I'm not joking...

Well, it's finals week, and you know what that means: rekindling my romance with Popcap games. On Sunday, mere days away from a final for which I knew (and still know) nothing about, I played Big Money for 6 hours. I mean, there were breaks to eat and stuff, but there was definately no micro-econ happening.

So I essentially gave up on econ and was playing Big Money at Popovitch (our classy business school cafe) while I was meant to be studying. But it totally paid off, because I made it to entrepreneur (my highest ever!), and while I admittedly guessed 80% of the answers on my final, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have known much more had I spent my weekend studying. I also left the exam first.

A quote from a random frat boy that was walking around outside afterwards:

"I dunno man, it looked like there hadn't been some Es in a while, so I put E."

Which pretty much sums up my collegiate testing life.

Monday, May 12, 2008

A Hero is a Hero

Chuck Bass is my favourite person in the whole world. Or, at least the whole Gossip Girl world. Seriously, when you want something done right, tell Chuck. He'll figure that shit out.

Also, eff those nOObs, Jenny, Dan, Georgie, that curly haired slut, all the fashion posse... the original cool kids were clearly the cool kids for a reason.

Chuck, Nate and Blair are the best gang ever. Serena does not deserve them.

Why is it so hard to find a pic of just the four of them? Here's the main 6, but you can ignore the sibs.

Spotted: People not studying but watching tv instead. Looks like they might have to take some tips from Chuck and hire nerds to take the test for them.


Tuesday, May 6, 2008

I Can't Afford A Carriage

I usually try to avoid posting pictures of myself at all costs, lest they be used as weapons for ridicule. But because I love you all so, and you deserve some mirth and merriment, here is how I spent my weekend:


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