Tuesday, February 26, 2008

I'll Never Be Indie


I would love to be Indie. Really I would. I'd even settle for faux-indie. However, sitting here in a very boring Micro-econ class, I have come to the realization that my dreams will never come true. Here is why:

Cool Indie Music - Those who know me well, or even just sort of, know that I am musically challenged. I rely on various wonderful sources for my music: daddy, cousins, roommates, significant others... and all of these ensure that I am never ahead of the curve, and also that I never have to know who or what I'm listening to because it is just played for me. This makes it difficult to be all supportive of some unknown band, unless one of the above happens to drag me to a concert. With recent aquisition of car, I also listen to the radio but that just makes me even more mainstream and also, I still have no idea who I'm listening to, as usual I can only hum along.

Cool Indie Clothes - I hate vintage shopping. I would love to love it, but I don't like the smell, or touching old things, or the idea that I am wearing something that has been worn by some stranger's armpits. No thanks. I also don't make my own alterations to generic pieces, nor do I support small boutiques. I am definately more of the Payless kind of girl (which has actually gotten a little ridiculous. This morning in class I triumphantly noted that the girl next to me was also sporting some Payless footwear, then was horrified to realize that I am obviously over frequenting the place...), and nothing gives me more pleasure than a shopping spree at Wet Seal / Forever 21 / (horror of horrors) Elegance at the UV. For those of you that aren't familiar with USC's amazing University Village, Elegance is the only clothing store and is basically like someone inhaling the worst of Hong Kong and sneezing it up in the ghetto of Los Angeles. Anyway, my point is: my style just doesn't cut it.

Cool Indie Job: I don't even know if this is actually indie, but I've always wanted to work at a record store a la Empire Records (but as previously discussed, this is just not in the stars for me) or else, how do the kids at Borders and Hard Rock and almost any cafe always look so cool? Any job I've ever done has always had the resume-building incentive of getting me closer to being swallowed up by the corporations.

Cool Indie Smoking
: I don't, but dang it looks cool. I know there was that whole "smoking isn't cool thing", but really, who are you kidding? It's super cool. Not when I do it, because I cough up a black phlegm filled lung with every puff, but everyone else does pretty good with it.

Cool Indie Artsy-ness
: I am not talented enough to be artsy. I would love to be a great photographer and take beautiful over-exposed polaroids of my friends and I lying around in our quirky outfits, unforch I am definately more the drunken snaps on my digi cam facebook photo kind of gal. I also can't write songs, or poetry, or publish a zine, or do a comic strip, or make beautiful art. I can barely write screenplays and even those aren't very good.



And here is the worst one, that I definately do not have. It is also the no 1 thing that you need accodring to wikiHow under How to Be Indie:

Cool Indie Mentality: "Recognize that being indie isn't just having the look. Indie is all about embracing individuality, and consciously deviating from elements of mainstream society." Well sheet. There goes my dream. Because I am tragically mainstream - last week I watched Jumper and am desperate to see Definately Maybe. And I like to copy people. And I like mainstream society, especially the TV watching.

So really the only thing I can do is lie on the grass between classes with the Neighbour Boy and doze in the sun. For those few moments I feel terribly chic and trendy, but then I realize that my butt crack is showing and it's back to reality.

PS. I stole these pictures off this girl-I-sort-of-know's facebook, without her knowledge and thus duh, permission. As such I will probably be imprisoned for copyright infringement or something. But she does terribly cool things and is my secret hero.


Thursday, February 21, 2008

Jumper


Saw this piece of cinematic gold over the weekend. And by gold I mean more of a mushy-brown and smelly kind of material.

The Plot: David (Hayden Christensen aka Anikin Skywalker aka hot) is a bit of a loser as a kid, but has a big crush on this travel-obsessed chick, Millie (Rachel Bilson aka Summer). One day he is getting bullied and falls into a frozen lake and everyone thinks he is dead, including himself, except then he magically teleports into the public library avec a whole lot of water. Wow, he can teleport. Seeing as he comes from a broken family - his mother ran off when he was 5 (... we will soon lean that a lot of significant things happen to people at the age of 5 but days later I still have no idea why) and his father... well let's just say he wasn't much of one. And by let's, I mean that's a direct quote. Anyhoo, he runs away from home and makes his living by teleporting into bank safes and stealing large amounts of money.

Many moons pass and Hayden is living it up in New York, spending his days jumping around and being glam. Then, he gets attacked! Roland (aka Samuel L Jackson aka Mace Windoo aka I've had it with these mother effing snakes on this mother effing plane!) a jumperhunter has finally found him. After a brief battle, Hayden manages to escape and finds himself in his childhood home. Then, while he's there he decides to pop in and check up on Summer. Summer is still in town, working in a bar despite being all "i'm gonna go here and here and here" as a kid, much akin to Amy Smart in Just Friends. Bla bla, they hook up and he takes her to Rome (by plane), where he meets Griffin (aka Jamie Bell aka Billy Elliot) who is a jumper assassin who fights SLJ and his army of Jedi. Also have a run in with some Jedi. Bla bla very dramatic he has to try to kill Sams so that Sams won't kill everyone he has ever loved (er Rachel, seeing as how he already got to not much of a dad...) while also trying to discover the truth about his mother (aka... Diane Lane? What are you doing here? There are no dogs for you to love in this movie, or Tuscan Suns for you to be under!).

Or, (to sum it up in the words of a neighbour): It's like they took the worst mutant from X-men and made an entire movie about him.


The Good: Hayden's face. Rachel's face. The special effects when they were actually jumping. The 3 seconds of the non- sex scene. Hayden's bod. The travelling was nice.

The Bad: The acting. Hayden was his usual broody self, Rachel was Summer, and Samuel was kind of his usual self but more self-righteous. What I want to know is, why does he make a movie credible? He certainly hasn't been in any good ones recently. The sex scene was entirely too short and also, out of no where. Had absolutely nothing to do with anything. Oh and also the story had lots of holes, for example: Billy Elliot, where did you go?

The Ugly: The editing. I think a lot of the scenes would have been infinately better if they had just waited a few seconds to let you absorb things before cutting away, most noticably when he jumps into a car and then it just like cuts away, you don't have a second to sit there and go.. that effect was awesomeee. It just makes you very aware that you are watching a movie.
Also ugly was this extra in the bar scene who kept looking at the camera really awkwardly.

Yay or Nay: Really, I'd say nay. Coz we watched it for Hayden but even that didn't focus on him for long enough for it to be worth it.


Que Sera, sera


Sooo... just came back from a taping of Jay Leno with Heidi Klum and James. Heart heart heart he is amazing. I was trying to stalk him afterwards to get a photo/wedding, but he shawked off into his car with his gnome of a wife.

However, Rona and I are on screen for 2 seconds laughing at a joke about a vibrator. The joke was actually aimed at these women behind us, but the camera couldn't get to them and seeing as we were in the front row (thank you woome connections...) we became the helpless victims instead.

So watch it, beyotches. If not for me, then for James.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Just a little update...


So here's a little bit of my life right now:

- Have slightly smelly, stubly armpits but fear the damaging effects of shower on newly french-manicured/pedicured appendages.

- Have 2 internships, so back to being constant worthless intern. Enjoying the reading of one and the hilarity of the dodginess of the other.

- Am still a bad driver, but at least I am insured. Am also in love with my car, despite the left blinkers being a little crap in the not-working kind of sense.

- Have yet another bag of lettuce that has rotted before being opened. Am considering giving up on buying it.

- Have probably failed my first midterm.

- Have a short film to make, have not done anything in the two weeks that I was meant to be finished in.

- Have spent a long weekend not doing any work. Am not sure if there is any work that I am meant to be doing.

- Was recently conflicted when NB stole a sausage off Mom's plate to feed me because I was bitching about being hungry and IHOP's service was being not good. On one hand, was all "why did you do that you moron?" with everyone else, on the other hand was quite chuffed when he looked around indignantly and proclaimed "when my girlfriend is hungry, I'm going to find her food!" Felt this statement deserved reward.

- Now need to do my laundry as while putting strawberry-syrup covered pancakes in a leftover box at said IHOP, said box flipped them onto hoodie and holey jeans. Also splattered onto Marine's pjs.

- Am excited that a man Rona met on Woome may get us into Jay Leno (maybe?) when James is going to be there. Am planning on seducing him. Am probably not going to manage.

- Am awed by awesome ads for 'Wanted', James' new movie with Angelina Jolie.

- Am sad that I still don't know how to put youtube vids in.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Where have you been all my life?


The neighbour (the one that does still want to eff me) just went on a romantic weekend getaway for 2 to ... the new Ralph's downtown.

Ha-ha, you think I'm joking when I say romantic, being ironic, but I'm really not. It's the best date I've ever been on.

I don't know why I haven't been there before. When I came back (after the summer) everyone was like "oh my god, you have to go to the new Ralph's, you'll love it, you'll want to live there." Because I already sort of live in the shitty Ralph's. But I'm never going back there again (except in maybe like an hour to buy tin foil coz I forgot...)

This Ralph's had an anti-pasto bar with olives and tempenade, and they had a bakery, and a cheese counter with good cheese, and they had aisles of sundried tomatoes and organic food accessories, they had produce that was fresh and not manically depressed and wilted. Oh yea, and they had the biggest wine section I've ever seen, that was continued after the (break). Er, that is, they had a giant wine section, then some other stuff, then the liquor (with a GIANT bottle of Absolut that somehow (on sale) costs the same as a regular bottle?) then in the liquor section there's a walk in wine closet for the classy wine.

We spent... close to $300 (together). Thank God I have a car, and thank God the neighbour has terrific arm muscles.

I'm in love.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Quote of the... month?

A conversation with a neighbour:

Me: Josh, how come you never cook for us anymore?

Josh: Because I don't want to f*ck you anymore, Amanda.

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Juno

Lazy Sunday so I thought I would play catch up with my film reviewythings.

Loved Juno, but I'm biased. Here's a little background that may bore you but is pertinent to my life. Sort of.

Juno was produced by Mandate, which was one of my first internships here in LA. Seeing the beginning credits and actually recognising the producers as people I've met was a big thrill. Anyhoo, it was one of the first scripts I'd ever read and was definately one of the first that I loved. (I think Mr Magorium was first, Romel and I both pronounced it 'shit' but in nicer terms I'm sure, and then felt really stupid when we were told that it was in production with Natalie Portman and Dustin Hoffman. But then i think it did badly at box office so baha.) And even though I had absolutely nothing to do with the film in any way at all, I was completely emotionally attached to it.

Anyway, back to it.

Plot (I've decided this logline is entirely too long to be a log line): Juno (Ellen Page, aka creepy Hard Candy girl aka X Men 3 aka Homeless to Harvard Thora Birch when she was little aka Not Hayden Panetierre even though she was in the casting folder) is 'bored' one night and does her friend-boy Paulie (Michael Cera aka George Michael aka Superbad) in some beat up arm chair. Then she gets preggers but can't go through with the abortion so decides to put it up for adoption, and dream yuppie couple Vanessa (Jennifer Garner) and Mark (Jason Batemen aka Michael Bluth) want it. Cool. Or Wizard, if you are feeling Paulie-ish.

The Good: Everything. Haha. Okay okay, dialogue. Acting. Comedic timing. Set design (Juno's room/house and the cafeteria were both pretty great.... that might seem random). I particularly loved her best friend (Olivia Thirlby aka reallu not famous) and how she was all into old men teachers. George Michael putting deoderant on his thighs was pretty great too. The soundtrack, to the point where I bought it. Except really its the song they sing at the end that I really like, and had a dream about last night. ("Here is the church and here is the steeple, we sure are cute for two ugly people. I don't see what anyone can see in anyone else but you.")

The Bad: When Mark gets creepy. I also did not think her parents being so chill was very believable, but it was funny. Rekha complained that she thought Juno was too witty and that no one could really have such clever things to say all the effing time, but I disagree because her retorts weren't that great, she just sort of stares and says awks things...

Oh also I guess it's kind of bad that George Michael doesn't really act. As funny as he is he plays the same thing in everything (charming in an outrageously awkward way). And really, how long can that last? Is he going to be awkymcawkawks in every movie for the next 10 years? I don't think you can make a career out of it. Esp when you get too old for teen movies. It's not like playing the hero/pretty girl or something when you can transition into the older goodlooking man or cougar lady, I really don't know where you can go with awks. But I still love him.

The Ugly: Juno's van. The chemist, aka Dwight from the Office making a cameo.

Yay or Nay? Yay. Definately yay. Although it's a little bit of a chick flick in disguise. And obvi if you are on a first date with a boy, it might not be the best thing seeing as she gets pregnant and that might kill the mood. But, Nick Wong: Definately. Adelle: Yes but you'll freak out at some points. Su: Probs.

PS Can someone please teach me how to post a youtube video????
 

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