Stealing Christmas

The best thing about being an assistant - an assistant to the big boss, too - is being the gatekeeper of the Christmas offerings. So far, I have pilfered:

- Box of peppermint bark

- Bouquet of flowers

- Basket, Rose's sweetened lime juice and bottle of Sour Apple Pucker schnapps

Yes, it is exactly like Devil Wears Prada, but without the designer bags / products.

Most Wonderful Time Of The Year!

Here is an update on my life through iPhone pictures:

My first peppermint mocha of the season. Nom nom nom.

Also, 99c Advent Calendars from Trader Joes! Whee!

(I don't know why it comes up sideways. It's fine on my computer. Stupid)

Here is my HouseElf, aka NB, leaving photos of himself on my phone.

Having a HouseElf is useful because they do things like:

Laundry/Making the bed

(Uh, yes, my room is a hot mess)

Putting up pictures on wall.

As you can see, my HouseElf is not trained in uncrookeding pictures, so he artfully decided to stagger them.

He also does dishes and bathrooms.

The End.

Turkeys go in and (apple) pies come out.

Let me start this by saying that my pies were not inedible. But they were not awesome. Sad face. Why yes, that is a sense of foreboding you are getting.

I got the bright idea (no sarcasm, it really is a good idea) from some blog or site to use turkey leftovers to make turkey pot pie. Nom nom nom.

I found these adorable little disposable pot pie pots, so I could make individual servings and bring a couple to work for the boys that drive me around (long story resulting in no car this week) and feed the roommies. And I used kind of a hodge-podge of recipes, because I figured it was a left over pie, you don't need to follow rules!

What I did (makes 6):

The innards:

Made turkey stock with my carcass, 2 onions, a bag of carrots and a bunch of celery. Also added thyme, oregano, salt n pepper.

Made a roux with 2 tbsp of butter and 3 tbsp flour. Added some roasted garlic, courtesy of thxgiving*. Added 3 cups of stock, with as many carrots as I could gather and as few celery bits as I could (I don't like the idea of celery in my pie. Peas and carrots only please). 1 cup of milk. Seasoned. Added 7 chopped up white potatoes. A cup of frozen peas. 2 cups of chopped up left-over white meat turkey. Simmer until potatoes are tender.

I found that the sauce was too thin so I took all the bits out after and reduced the sauce til it was thicker.

The Outards:

I had a big debate with myself whether to make a regular pie crust or use pre-made puff pastry. Puff pastry won. There's just something so enticing about a puff pastry top. I used one package of puff pastry, but then I threw away one sixth of it because I didn't flour the board the first time and then it stuck to everything and was a giant faily fail. Laziness really kills. I then had to streetch my other pastry out to make it fit 6 pies.

Got the pie crust in, tried to distribute the insides as evenly as possible, covered them up. Dabbed some eggwash (one beaten egg) on each top. Baked for 25 min at 350F.

Here are my results:

I know. Pretty failyfail. Especially when all viewed together. I was a little embarrassed about bringing them to work to give to people, but then I remembered they are boys and thus not picky.

Ah well, learn from my mistakes...

Lessons learned:

- NEVER STRETCH PUFF PASTRY - it shrivels back to size, or doesn't rise and is just generally depressing. It also gets holes in it really easily and then the sauce gets under the pastry and then the pastry shell is all goopey. So use flour aplenty to stop it from sticking and getting thrown away. I would also advise cutting the dough before rolling - a pack of puff pastry usually comes in 2 sheets which are folded in 3, which is pretty perfect. Cut each strip into 2 (one side slightly bigger than the other) and use the bigger for a base and the smaller for the lid. Roll the bigger one so that it is about 3/4 of an inch more in radius for the rim of the pie. Throw it in the pie tin as a square, fit it properly (without STRETCHING!) and then trim whatever falls over the edge.

- I believe you are also meant to cut a little slit in the top to let the steam out.

- Use a brush to do the egg wash. I used my fingers, and it was not even, so my pies were not beautiful and brown and shiny, they were just even more sad.

- For the insides, the biggest piece of advice I can give: cut the carrots and potatoes up, steam all the things separately and put them in the shells, then add the sauce. Why? Well. To ensure perfect cooking of each element. My peas were kind of an olive green by the time all the potatoes were cooked, and my carrots were not so vibrant. My turkey was also kind of dry by the time it had stewed... This also ensures that you get the desired amount of each food, not say one piece of turkey and 9 potatoes.

- Chopping: It really helps to cut things pretty small here. I am a lazy and there were giant chunks of potato and turkey and carrots... which was fine, but would have been better small.

- Aluminum pots are not so great to bring to offices that only have microwaves, because then you have to take the pie out and put it on a paper plate and then the crust gets even soggier.

Back pats:

+ The stock: My soups are generally delicious, and this was no different. Although one roommate has voiced complaint that even our bathroom smells like turkey now.

+ The potato: Using a waxy variety is a good plan because then it doesn't disintegrate in the sauce.

So. Go forth and prosper, children.

In other news, I slept with wet hair and am now experiencing a truly horrible hair day that even a hat couldn't fix. My bangs look like a mullet.

* I have noticed a lot of faux-hip mom-aged peeps throwing this little gem around the emails. They think they are sooo with-it.

Rainy Day Lentil Soup

It has been bizarrely cold in Los Angeles this past couple of weeks. Today it was rainy. Rain always puts me in the stewing mood, and I had 3/4 of a red onion, carrot and celery sticks left over from my weekend roadtrip with NB, and some parsley from a couple of weeks ago... and best of all, a bag of lentils in my cupboard from some time last semester when I was sure I would make a lentil soup but never did. So lentil soup had to happen. Inspired by Ina Garten but mostly just what I had in the kitchen.

Lentil Soup

Serves 6-8

(What I used)

3/4 red onion, diced
3 cloves of garlic, minced
1 bag of dried lentils (1 lb... I hope you appreciate that I just dug through the trash to find that out)
2 carrots, diced
3 sticks of celery, sliced thinly
4 sticks of asparagus, sliced (kinda weird, but they were in the fridge...)
3 tbsp olive oil
1 tbsp ground cumin seeds
1 tsp paprika
1 tbsp salt
1/2 tbsp pepper
1/2 tsp chili powder (optional, obv, but as an Asian I feel the need to add chili to everything)
1/2 tsp chili flakes
1/2 gallon hot water
1 tbsp fresh parsley
3 tbsp red wine
3 tbsp grated parmesan

If I had been shopping specifically for this, though, I would have also had:
More carrots / onion / celery
Thyme
2 tbsp tomato paste / some fresh tomatoes, diced
Chicken stock in place of water

Rinse lentils and soak in hot water. Heat olive oil in soup pot (for lack of a better word...). Sautee garlic and onions until soft, 3-4 min. Add carrots and celery (and fresh tomatoes, if you have them), sautee until soft, another 7 minutes ish. Add seasoning minus 1/2 the parsley (and the tomato paste, if you're using that...). Stir in 2 tbsp red wine. Drain lentils, add to pot. Add asparagus. Add water / stock. Bring to a boil then simmer on low heat for an hour, stirring every... 10 min? Check the seasoning to make sure it's tasty.

Serve with chili flakes/parm/drizzle of red wine/drizzle of olive oil/parsley.

MmmmMMmmm nom nom noms. Easy peasy and makes the house smell great.

Post-Thanksgiving Pre-Christmas Celebrations

Secret Not-Santa Turkey

The Rulez:
1) Must be under $10 or handmade
2) Must be a secret
3) Must be amazing

Apart from no 2, we kept it pretty good.

Here are the prizessss:



Dear Shawks, Here is a turby twist for your unruly hair. Love Rach.


Dear Mom, Here are some hello kitty things because you love her. Just keep that shizz outta my room. Love Me.


Dear Rach. Because You Love Nuts. Love Mom.


Dear Ronez, I'm sorry assholes like Clark steal your snapple. Love Shawks.


Dear Amanda. Here are some really awful socks. Love Ronez.

Thanksgiving Treats

They don't look very good but thats coz my camera has gone all funny and is taking ugly pictures. I assure you they were delish.

Cranberry & Pecan Sugar Cookies (makes 3 dozen)

So, first we make some basic sugar cookies... I use this:

3 cups flour
3/4 tsb baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
1 cup butter
1 cup sugar
1 egg
1 1/4 tbs milk
1 tsp vanilla

Beat the butter and sugar together, as usual, add egg and vanilla and keep beating. Sift in the dry stuff, add milk. Mix some more.

This should now be a big ball of poop. Delicious poop.

Add in:
1 cup chopped pecans
1 cup chopped dried (or fresh? but I think tinned will be too soggy) cranberries

Mix all together, then dump them on to a long sheet of clingfilm and roll into a log (I usually make 2 logs or else it makes an outrageously long snake) about 1 1/2 inch in diameter.

Fridge for at least an hour, if you're lazy overnight.

Return after watching Heroes, or Grey's, or 2 episodes of Degrassi or Friends reruns ( I guess you can watch other stuff too) and take the rolls out of the fridge.

Cut the logs into 1/3 inch thick slices. I rolled coated mine in powdered sugar, but I guess you could skip that if you want. You might want to shape them a bit better too, or not.

Bake at 375 degrees F for 15 minutes (maybe longer if you left it in the fridge overnight...)
Let cool.

Melt 4 sq of Giraldi semi-sweet chocoate (I dont remember how much that is, but really I just used the leftover chocolate from the cheesecake) with 1/2 a cup of heavy whipping cream (I'm sure you could use regular cream) and stir on low heat to thicken, you might want to add a little vanilla, but maybe not.

Half dip the cookies in the chocolate. Leave to set.

Eat and be a fatty.

Mac-n-cheese-osti?

It's getting cold her in Sunny California, so here's a carbo-loading comfort food that I made the other day... dedicated to Su and Adelle, and the good ol' days in Marche.

Kraft macaroni and cheese may be a classic, but I'm finding it increasingly texture/taste less. On the other hand, I have about 55 thousand boxes (er, not really that many) left over from my freshman year dining dollars. I made up a box the other day, it was orrite but nothing amazing. Half went in the fridge as leftovers. Inspired by Paula Deen, The Cheesecake Cafe, Sonic and not wanting to be fat enough to deep fry it, I would like to introduce:

The Mac-n-Cheese-Osti!

To do it as I did it, You need:
A box of macaroni and cheese
Garlic Powder
Olive Oil
Salt
Pepper
Parmesan cheese (the powdery kind you put on pizza not the grated kind)

Make up the macaroni and cheese, stirring in some salt, pepper and garlic powder to taste. I had mine in the fridge, so it dries up a bit, but I don't think you need to.

Put a thin layer of oil in a pan, on med heat. Put a thin layer of parmesan on the pan. Chuck the mac n cheese in. Squash it down with a spatula into a sort of pancake. Sprinkle parmesan on this side too. Cook for about 4 min (depending on the size of the pan, how much mac n cheese there is...) then flip and do the same on the other side. (Here's a flipping tip: It's frugging hard to flip mac n cheese, so you can slide it on a plate then put the pan over it to cover the uncooked side and flip it then... no fancy pancake moves needed.)

Serve with marinara sauce.

BONUS FEATURE!!

Because I love you all so much, here's something I thought of AFTER I had made mine. And you really only need soem grated cheese, I'd say cheddar or mozerella. This is for those who love cheese.

Put only half the mac n cheese down, squash into pancake like I said before. Sprinkle with grated cheese, then put the rest of the mac n cheese over it and squash that bit down too. Continue as you would have.

TADA! Theoretically, you should get a macncheeseosti that oozes with melted cheese when you cut into it.