Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Just another day on the job...

Crime Alert.

Location: Ralph's next to my house.

Crime: Not really sure.

Suspect: African-American male. About 1 foot when slumped on the floor. 40-60 years of age.


Rona, Rachana and Amanda left the house to go to Ralph's. Outside, they noticed a small crowd peering into the side door, and a ruckus was occurring within.

When questioned, witnesses said that a fight was going down. The three noticed an old friend leaving the store and interrogated him also, but due to his shaken-upped-ness, he could only say that he 'just wanted some milk'. Being brave, the three were like eff this man I need my food. However, using great prudence they decided to start at the frozen food section and work their way towards the fresh produce, where security guards were attempting to intervene.

The air was thick with pepper spray, causing customers to lurch into sudden coughing fits whenever a deep breath was inhaled.

It seemed that the hullabaloo was done with by the time they reached aisle one, as the cleaning crew had come in and members of the security detail were just standing around. However, Amanda got a nasty shock when she rounded the corner for a bag of broccoli wokly and came toe to toe with the badguy. She jumped back and found an alternative route that was still a little too close for comfort, but had Rachana with her this time. (Tip: Always use the buddy system!)

Rachana overheard the detainee claiming 'this store is about to be robbed'. Conspiracy theories about the homeless of the neighbourhood rising up and committing a series of robberies was discussed amongst the girls, especially with regard to the Early Morning Robbery At GunPoint At Starbucks, only days before.

When the three left, the detainee was lying on the floor outside, surrounded by bloodied security guards and some LAPD guys.

Remember now, you heard it here first. And if you didn't, serves you right for not reading on time.

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