Wednesday, June 11, 2008


It's like I told Sonia:

Roswell + a pinch of Buffy + Cedric Diggory = Twilight

And I know I said I couldn't read it because it looked that awful, but knowing that hottie mc hot hot Cedric Diggory is playing the lead in the movie version, I decided I could deign to give the book a try. Remember: it's hard to be objective when you have his good looking face backed up by the assurance that Edward is hotter than the fiery flames of hell.

The story:

Bella falls in love with a vampire named Edward.

More details? (Lots of spoilers, so skip ahead if you don't want it to be ruined) I've italicized the Roswell comparisons.

Bella moves from Phoenix to live with her dad in some tiny ass town in Washington where she is miserable because it always rains. She hates the attention she is getting in school, but she makes friends (sort of -- they don't seem to be friends so much as people she nods at) fast. Then she notices the Cullens, five super-model-esque adopted siblings who always sit at the same table and keep to themselves and are very pale and graceful. In bio lab, Bella finds that the only empty seat in class is next to one of the five - the youngest, Edward. Except he seems to hate her, sitting as far away as possible and keeping his fists clenched, and having very dark dark eyes. Poor Bella. She even finds him in the office after school, trying to switch out of her lab. But dang, he's hot. Finally, Edward starts talking to her, mocking her lightly and making dark hints about how he's dangerous and she should stay away from him. Actually, I think this might have only happened because he saves her from a car crash. Meanwhile, a million zillion boys are in love with her and want to take her to the dance, but Bella is unnaturally clumsy and so tells everyone that she has plans to go to Seattle that weekend. Edward offers her a ride to Seattle, and she accepts.

Bella knows something fishy is up, because he seems to move very quickly sometimes, and also she's quite convinced that he stopped the car from crashing into her with his bare hands. She finds out from some Native American kid on a reservation that the Cullens aren't allowed on their land coz they are vampires. But it's ok, the Cullens are 'vegetarians' and don't eat people, only animals. Oh. Bella and Edward also have great chemistry in bio lab and spend all their time thinking about touching each other. Um, I don't really remember, but she and he have a discussion about how she isn't scared of him even though she knows, and won't tell anyone his secret. He pops in her window at night and spends the night cuddling, except he is a corpse so it's always rather chilly.

Then, she is watching his family play vampire baseball, when some other vampires come. But they are the people-eating type, and would very much like to eat Bella. One of them (James) is a professional tracker or something and has his sights set on Bella, and basically hunts her down. Edward tries to get to him first, sending Bella away with his 'brother' and 'sister' to Phoenix, to throw the vampire off her trail and hopefully keep him from hurting her family. Vampire man finds her in Phoenix and has her mom kidnapped! But he'll switch her safely for Bella if she comes without telling anyone. So, when they go to pick up Edward from the airport, Bella makes a run for it. Turns out he didn't have her mom, he just broke into her house and found some old video tapes that he would play back on the phone (a very cunning Home Alone move...), he tries to attack her and eat her but Edward comes in and saves the day, but James has already bitten her, so Edward has to suck out the venom without drinking all her blood. And he does. And she's fine. And they are happy. But he's still dangerous.

The End.


The first 2/3 were kind of draggy but very sweet and Max and Liz ish. The last 1/3 was very exciting, though full of hubris and foolishness... I think you will find that all three books are this way, with 2/3 romantic dragginess and then a couple of really exciting chapters at the end.

Yay or nay?

Yay for girls who want to relive their pubescent years, or are still going through them. You know, back when it was all about the soul mate and thinking that you are insufficient even though the guy thinks you are the most beautiful thing on earth. Also, for people PMSing and needing a good mush. It's definitely fluff, so it's a no-go for boys and people who like kind of intelligent reading.

Also, more specifically, Liane, this one is for you. Sorry Nick, you'll hate me for it. Su, maybe, in your Gladiator mood. I already know Sonia's thoughts (a resounding yes). Bev, maybe, when you are pining for a boy. Sam, probs not.

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