Friday, July 11, 2008
Hell Boy 2
I saw the first one, and I hated it. Despised it. The acting, the dialogue, the plot. All bad times. So why did I watch this one? I was all seduced by the fact that it was directed by Pan's Labyrinth's Guillermo del Toro, and the ads showed it to be filled with all his weird creatures with eyes in the wrong places.
It should really have been called Hella Bad, Too. Because it was.
The Plot: A Prince from an ancient army of elves (very reminiscent of LOTR) decides he wants to break his father's peace treaty with the humans by calling up all sorts of terrible forces to kill them.
The Good: Admittedly, Gilly's monsters looked pretty good for the most part. A bit out of place, and more suiting Pan's, but they were pretty cool none the less. The members of the golder army were really nifty and I totally want one. And some of the 'worlds' were really nicely done, like the Goblin Market or whatever (even though it was clearly a rip-off of Diagon Alley, HP style.) And Selma Blair's hair looked pretty cute, and I'm not even normally a fan of hers at all.
The Bad: Ooooh, where do I begin? Firstly, what bothered me most even though it's kind of insignificant: the bystanders. They were very blase about monsters appearing out of everywhere and trying to kill them. That really bothered me, that there were very few screams. And while we are on the topic, the logic of the whole movie. Su and I saw the easy exits way early on, so really, their 2 hour adventure was a waste of time and money. Also, lots of lead ons that went no where, like "your one weakness is your temper!" and then no final battle where he has to control his temper? Laaame. My pet peeve about films is when the plot moves the characters instead of the characters moving the plot, (what was it, Prof M? External vs internal? It all seems so clear now) In this, everything was definitely handed to them on a platter. And also, um, pretty much every time someone opened their mouth something stupid and pointless came out. Wow, I was really mad.
The Ugly: Hellboy himself. He was just not a nice guy, very unsavory and unlikable. And he looked really fake. And all his faux-remorse was pretty false, he didn't really have any emotions at all. Just random acts of violence that were totally unnecessary.
The Highlight: The fish guy "I don't think I even have tearducts!" and his singing, I guess. Pretty lame, but ya gotta find something.
Last 2 cents: Might have been salvageable, without the whole Hellboy thing. You know, if it was just a rip off of Pans/HP/LOTR. Watch out for the whole beginning 10 minutes where they basically copy LOTR and have a battle scene with Robots (orcs?) and then they break the golden crown into 3 pieces, 2 for the elves and 1 for man... er, one crown to rule them all?
Yay or Nay: Nay, nay, a thousand times nay. Boy or girl, whatever, nooo don't do it.