1) Elmo is a smelly, smelly dog. But Ootie is smellier.
2) My forehead is pimply like a pubescent boy.
3) My room is a relic from my secondary school days. It's like the land where time stood still. Except the dust. That grows and grows. I really need to redecorate. Or like... clean.4) Nobody cares that I had a dream where I was pregnant, nor does anyone share the relief I felt when I remembered that um, Aunt Flo is visiting. Hahaha.
5) My thighs seem to be increasing exponentially, as does my tummy.
6) Writing with an orange pen is blinding.